IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drink that has scientifically been proved to have bad effects on people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

#people #shops #food #drink #effects #health #disagree？
There might be controversial
debatesregarding
Suggestion
debates regarding
 about the issue of whether it is positive for people to ban detrimental
food
 in the shop or not. I partially agree with that the sale of unhealthy
food
 should be regulated. I will highlight my opinion about
this
. On the one hand, the authorities cannot restrict people's right to freely choose things, which are they want to buy. When you choose something to eat, you have a responsibility with your own decisions and you cannot blame the shop by selling that
food
.
Furthermore
, there are too many kinds of harmful
food
 to be regulated fully.
For example
, sugar is a typical unhealthy ingredient but, there are so many snacks that contain it much, as like chocolate, candy and cookies, even if they can have bad effects on
peoples
Suggestion
people's
 health, many people enjoy eating sweet snack and drink
such
 as coke. If the government forbids the sale of sugary foods, people will have fewer choices to choose and it can lead to an infringement of human right.
Nevertheless
, the appropriate level of regulation is necessary.
This
 is because,
firstly
, people do not understand fully what is good for the body or not. In terms of nutrition information, it is definitely needed for people to show clearly what ingredients are inside it. The government has to take consideration into it to manage and supervise
this
 system.
Secondly
,
food
 regulations
also
 have a positive effect on the authorities to care issue of health problems. If they can control bad
food
 in the advance, they can save their budget for curing many diseases, which are caused by unhealthy diet behaviour. In conclusion, everyone has a different taste, so the authorities cannot limit all of their choices.
However
, it is crucial for the public health To manage harmful
food
 before it reaches the buyer's hands.
Submitted by emin890925 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • scientifically proven
  • personal freedom
  • individual choices
  • healthcare costs
  • economic impact
  • consumer empowerment
  • outright bans
  • education campaigns
  • scientific research
  • regulated industry
  • nutritional information
  • infringe
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: