IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that the media has the right to publish details of people’s views, while others think it should be controlled. Discuss both views.

#people #media #right #people’s
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One point of view supports a liberal approach to media involvement in people's personal lives,
while
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 another says there should be regulations on the matter.
This
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 essay will discuss the societal and familial conflicts that support publishing control,
as well as
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 the defenders of media freedom's right to information and control. On the one hand, the right to knowledge is the primary justification for publishers' freedom to write about the private lives of members of other societies. Many people think that there is nothing to conceal from the public or from knowing about the soul of the nation in society, especially its leaders, in
this
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 day of modern awareness and rights.
For example
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, there are so many activists who support the idea of public clarity and publish their lives on the Internet as a documentary.
On the other hand
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, unchecked trends in
this
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 area have resulted in a number of issues. Privacy breaches cause the crowd to feel embarrassed, and family relationships get strained
as a result
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. The individual's social standing is damaged, which may result in a loss of employment or even discord within the family.
In particular
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, we have seen so many destroyed families on the web, and it all happened because of the matter of privacy being compromised.
To conclude
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, unchecked media engagement stems from workers' rights to information and control, yet press observation is necessary when social unrest and family conflicts arise. The argument in favour of freelancers is the publishing's interaction with people's private activity, which can lead to increased tensions and heightened conflicts within families.
Submitted by musayevjahangir on

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Task Achievement
Your essay effectively discusses both viewpoints on media's freedom versus privacy concerns, presenting a balanced argument. To further strengthen your argument, consider adding more detailed examples to support your points, ensuring they are directly tied to the thesis for a more impactful argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows a good level of coherence and cohesion, with a clear logical structure and paragraphing. Enhancing the use of linking words and phrases could improve the flow between ideas, adding to the overall readability and cohesion of your text.
Task Achievement
You have provided a well-balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, showing good understanding of the essay topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively framed, giving your essay a coherent structure and clearly presenting your stance.
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