IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

some people think that music plays an important role in society, others think it's just a form of entertainment. Discuss both sides and five your opinion.

#people #music #role #society #form #entertainment #five
Music
 is
usual
Suggestion
usually
 regarded as
an
Suggestion
a
 universal language in the world, it establishes a connection among humans irrespective of gender, ethnicity, and geographic difference.
Therefore
, some people suggest that
music
 has been
on
Suggestion
in
 vital place in society, while others claim that its functionality is purely for recreation.
Idea
Suggestion
The idea
 of both sides with my own opinion together will be
further
 discussed and elaborated in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with,
music
 has always been a mirror of our real life that the melody links to our culture, and delivering
message
Suggestion
messages
 through its lyrics.
For instance
, a welcomed song "superheroes", composed by an Irish band, is describing about people who are undergoing the hardest of times, yet, they still can hold their head high. With the powerful tune and inspiring words, many people feel motivated as well as having a faith and courage again after listening
this
 song.
Accordingly
, it has multiple tasks
such
 as
faciliting
 aspiration, promoting love, and boosting morale to individuals and the society.
On the contrary
, there is no denying that
music
 is a good source of amusement which providing enthusiasm and conviviality for human beings. To illustrate, it is often played
in
Suggestion
at
 parties or ceremonies that participants can dance to the beat of the song; meanwhile, releasing their pent-up emotions and redundant
energy
Suggestion
energize
. As the best way to fully enjoying and relaxed is listening to
music
 without concerning their hectic daily life or doing soul-searching.
Consequently
, it is solely a tool of entertainment and stress reliever for some groups. In conclusion, the statement of two sides
are arguing
Suggestion
is arguing
 the value of
music
 in society both have strong supporters.
However
, after thorough analysis of both sides, it is crystal clear to me that despite of entertaining populace,
music
 is all around us with varied roles, starting from the
first
 lullaby to the elegy of a funeral, it accompanies us in the entire life.
Submitted by p282734 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: