Obesity is a ticking time bomb which will cause healthcare cost to explode. To defuse this situation, all fast food advertising should be banned.

#obesity #time #bomb #healthcare #cost #situation #food

Obesity is a tough problem

spread especially

Accept comma addition

spread, especially

in the most

developped

being changed over time so as to be e.g. stronger or more complete or more useful

developed

countries like US, Europe and

also

in Italy. The main consequence is the development of different medical problems like strokes,

diabete

a polygenic disease characterized by abnormally high glucose levels in the blood; any of several metabolic disorders marked by excessive urination and persistent thirst

diabetes

ipertension

a common disorder in which blood pressure remains abnormally high (a reading of 140/90 mm Hg or greater)

hypertension

therefore from

Accept comma addition

therefore, from

the economical point of view obesity has a strong impact causing a sharp hike of

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

cost. The aim of

this

essay is to assess the possibility to reduce the number of overweight people banning all fast

food

advertising. I partially agree with

this

statement because it would be surely useful but not enough. In

this

way children

can not

cannot

have the access to images that represent appetizing and tempting fat

food

, sugar and salty items, fried servings with sauces.

Although

banning repetitive

advertisiments

a public promotion of some product or service

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

279 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Obesity is a ticking time bomb which will cause healthcare cost to explode. To defuse this situation, all fast food advertising should be banned.

Fully explain your ideas

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for culture and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

More and more young people are using drugs and alcohol these days. What are the causes of this problem? What are some possible solutions?

Some people think that salary is main aspect of job. But some people belive that salary is not main aspect. Give your opinion and with relevant examples and discuss both points

Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?