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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show changes in the age structure of the population of a European country between 1901 and 1981 and a prediction for 2021.

The charts below show changes in the age structure of the population of a European country between 1901 and 1981 and a prediction for 2021.
#show #changes #age #structure #population #european #country #prediction
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The given pie charts
gives
Change the verb form
give
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 information regarding the
population
 by
age
 group in Europe over 8-
year
Correct article usage
a year
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 period and the projection for
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2021.
Overall
, it can be seen that the number of elder people, ages 65 and above, increased
substanttially
Correct your spelling
substantially
 over time as the
population
inflate
Wrong verb form
inflated
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 as well. The same trend
is
Change the verb form
is also foreseen
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also
 foresee in the near future.
To begin
 with, there is a significant increase in
population
 between 1901 and 1941 with the
date
Correct your spelling
data
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 showing 38,237,000 and 50,225000 respectively. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 rise in
Add an article
the figure
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figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
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, the
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
population
 below 65 remained the same at 95%, between 65-84 at 4% and, 85 and above at only 1%. The date changed in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 1981, with
population
Correct article usage
a population
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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slightly climbed up to 58,801,000, Europeans below the
age
 of 65 dropped to 83% those with the
age
 ranging from 65-84 at 13% and
finally
, those whose
age
 is more than 85 is at 4%. It is estimated in the future that in 2021 the
population
 will continue to rise
reaching
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to reach
show examples
 87,658,000. The number of people will consist of 79%
at
Change preposition
apply
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the
age
 ranging from 0-65,15% for 65-84 and
lasty
Correct your spelling
lastly
last
,
6
Correct word choice
and 6
show examples
% for people aged 85 and above
Submitted by Gulnoz Yuldasheva on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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