IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems.You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: •Introduce yourself •Explain the situation •Say what action you would like the company to take

#camera #home #company #representative #week #•introduce #•explain #situation #•say #action
Dear Madam. I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the
camera
,which I bought on 29th July using my card from your company. My name is Umida I am a regular patron of your company.When I bought many other goods from your store I was extremely satisfied.I highly wanted to buy my brother a new
camera
 for his birthday because he is fond of taking pictures,
also
 I opted to buy the
camera
 from your store.Your sellers offered us a variety of cameras,and I bought the one that my brother liked as well he was extremely glad. Regrettably,when we got home I perceived that the
camera
 was not working and my brother was disappointed.So far the products I have received from your company have been excellent.When I
switch
Wrong verb form
switched
show examples
 on the
camera
,after some time it was turned off unexpectedly strange dots appeared on the screen and I couldn’t access the photos in internal memory,so I am sure these are manufacturing flaws.The very next day I visited your showroom to replace the
camera
,after a week I called your employee again,she told me that it would be replaced in five days. I am hoping that you will agree to replace the faulty one with a new and fresh one.
Otherwise
Add a comma
Otherwise,
show examples
 I would like a full refund. If I do not hear back from you in regards to
this
 within a week,I would like to lodge a written complaint to your higher authority. Thank you for giving the matter your attention I look forward to your reply and a resolution to my problem. Yours faithfully, Umida Abdumajitova
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your letter is mostly clear, but it could be improved by organizing paragraphs more effectively. Make sure each paragraph covers a single idea or point.
coherence cohesion
While your letter includes a greeting and a closing, the greeting could be slightly more polite by adding 'Dear Sir/Madam' instead of just 'Dear Madam'.
coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea. For example, the introduction and explanation of your experience with the store could be divided into separate paragraphs.
task achievement
The tone of your writing is appropriate for a formal letter, but make sure to maintain consistency throughout. Avoid any overly casual phrases.
task achievement
Your letter provides a complete response to the task by including all the required information: introduction, explanation of the situation, and proposed solution.
coherence cohesion
The closing of the letter is polite and expresses a clear expectation for a resolution.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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