You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems.You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: •Introduce yourself •Explain the situation •Say what action you would like the company to take

#camera #home #company #representative #week #•introduce #•explain #situation #•say #action

Dear Madam. I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the

camera

,which I bought on 29th July using my card from your company. My name is Umida I am a regular patron of your company.When I bought many other goods from your store I was extremely satisfied.I highly wanted to buy my brother a new

camera

for his birthday because he is fond of taking pictures,

also

I opted to buy the

camera

from your store.Your sellers offered us a variety of cameras,and I bought the one that my brother liked as well he was extremely glad. Regrettably,when we got home I perceived that the

camera

was not working and my brother was disappointed.So far the products I have received from your company have been excellent.When I

switch

Wrong verb form

switched

show examples

on the

camera

,after some time it was turned off unexpectedly strange dots appeared on the screen and I couldn’t access the photos in internal memory,so I am sure these are manufacturing flaws.The very next day I visited your showroom to replace the

camera

,after a week I called your employee again,she told me that it would be replaced in five days. I am hoping that you will agree to replace the faulty one with a new and fresh one.

Otherwise

Add a comma

Otherwise,

show examples

I would like a full refund. If I do not hear back from you in regards to

this

within a week,I would like to lodge a written complaint to your higher authority. Thank you for giving the matter your attention I look forward to your reply and a resolution to my problem. Yours faithfully, Umida Abdumajitova

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Wed Aug 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your letter is mostly clear, but it could be improved by organizing paragraphs more effectively. Make sure each paragraph covers a single idea or point.

coherence cohesion

While your letter includes a greeting and a closing, the greeting could be slightly more polite by adding 'Dear Sir/Madam' instead of just 'Dear Madam'.

coherence cohesion

To enhance clarity, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea. For example, the introduction and explanation of your experience with the store could be divided into separate paragraphs.

task achievement

The tone of your writing is appropriate for a formal letter, but make sure to maintain consistency throughout. Avoid any overly casual phrases.

task achievement

Your letter provides a complete response to the task by including all the required information: introduction, explanation of the situation, and proposed solution.

coherence cohesion

The closing of the letter is polite and expresses a clear expectation for a resolution.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

There are fewer controls over the designs and construction of home and office buildings. So, people can build them however they like. Do the advantages of this outweighs the disadvantages?

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