IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time
It is true that children spend much of their
time
 to play with the
last
 technology devices. While some people argue that there are many negative benefits of
this
 trend, I would argue that the advantages more than compensate for any disadvantages. On the one hand, there are two serious drawbacks when children waste their
time
 to playing video games or using the Internet.
Firstly
, those habits lead children less communication and become a sedentary lifestyle which those games encourage.
This
 means that children do not have
time
 to do exercises that are necessary for the adequate development and make interaction with other people.
Secondly
, spending much of their spare
time
 on their computer or mobile phones is another reason that causes health problems for youngsters.
For example
, if they keep their eyes glued to the screen and consoles for hours on end, they may suffer symptoms of poor vision.
On the other hand
, I support the view of those who believe that the benefits are more significant than
such
 disadvantages. The most one is that children now have a range of choices to enjoy their free
time
 rather than the past. In
this
 case, the new technologies enable children to broaden their knowledge through interactive software.
For instance
, children may expand their understanding about wildlife by watching animal world channel,
instead
 of updating information through radio or traditional newspapers. Another consideration is that the Internet not only provides a countless useful material with few clicks, it
also
 supports children discover friends in any part of the world by using chat rooms and social networks
such
 as Facebook or Tweet.
As a result
, the new technologies, both enhance children’s self-study and promote young people develop a wide circle of virtual friends. In conclusion, I argue that the advantages of
this
 trend are more crucial than the disadvantages.
Submitted by pmwebdesigner on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • Cyberbullying
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Inappropriate content
  • Self-learning
  • Screen time
  • Social inequality
  • Enhanced communication
  • Creative expression
  • Educational resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: