The Best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Poverty
remains a pressing issue in most developing countries, and one proposed solution is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
provision of up to six years of free
education
, aiming to equip individuals with essential literacy and numeracy skills. In my opinion, I agree with
this
approach.
While
free
education
is a crucial step towards
poverty
reduction, it is not a standalone solution. Equally essential are adequate infrastructure, trained teachers, and quality educational resources. Merely providing free
education
without ensuring its quality may result in a system that fails to deliver the desired outcomes.
Therefore
, governments could focus on holistic educational reforms, including teacher training programs,
school
infrastructure development, and curriculum enhancements, to maximize the impact of free
education
initiatives.
For example
, in China, alongside the introduction of free
education
policies, the government invested in teacher training programs and improved
school
infrastructure, leading to enhanced learning outcomes and noticeably higher student retention rates.
However
, free
education
itself can significantly increase access to schooling, particularly for marginalized communities and children from low-income backgrounds. Financial barriers often prevent children from attending
school
, perpetuating the cycle of
poverty
. By eliminating tuition fees at young ages, developing countries can remove one of the major obstacles to
education
and ensure that all children have the opportunity to learn.
For instance
, in India, the implementation of free
education
policies has led to a rise in
school
enrollment rates among girls from disadvantaged communities, encouraging them to escape unfair conditions and pursue better futures through improved employability.
This
inclusivity in
education
can help bridge social and economic gaps, fostering a more equitable society. In conclusion, I strongly agree that offering up to six years of free
education
can be a powerful tool for overcoming
poverty
in developing countries. By prioritizing
education
and implementing necessary reforms, developing nations can better empower their citizens and reduce
poverty
levels in the
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
.
Submitted by alihafiid on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
While your essay introduces the topic well and concludes effectively, there could be a clearer delineation between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each of these elements should be easy to identify and your essay should flow seamlessly from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Expand further on each main point with more specific examples and detailed explanations. This can help reinforce your argument and allow for a more comprehensive discussion of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure that you fully address the prompt by discussing both the extent of your agreement and potentially opposing viewpoints. Offer a more nuanced perspective by acknowledging the limitations or alternatives to your position to satisfy the requirements for a 'completely' developed response.
task achievement
As your argument has a clear position, seek to enhance clarity by providing succinct and comprehensive explanations of your ideas. Use each paragraph to thoroughly explain a single idea before transitioning smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Incorporate more varied and specific examples to substantiate your arguments. Examples should be relevant and should directly support the points you make within each paragraph.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • functional literacy
  • numeracy skills
  • educational opportunity
  • employment prospects
  • critical thinking
  • empowerment
  • inequality reduction
  • sustainable development
  • innovation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: