IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others in the same age. This is called "peer pressure" Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

#people #behaviors #situations #age #peer #pressure
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Companionship and making friends with the same age group has become prevalent among youngsters.
This
Linking Words
 tendency Make a noticeable impact on each side. In view of
this
Linking Words
, more study is required to decide whether it must be considered beneficial for them. Youngsters are more likely to make friends with a group of people in their age due to the same interests. The consequences of their
friendship
Use synonyms
 are associated with critical period.
As a result
Linking Words
, having a mutual
friendship
Use synonyms
 with someone with a privileged family background is statistically indicated that mental progress has become more common under these circumstances and eventually they had reached a better position in society And children Grew up in a humble citizen family might lead them to the corruption.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is not hidden from anybody that human being is known to be sociable and he's not able to survive in isolation.
However
Linking Words
, commonality in age could make a stronger bond of
friendship
Use synonyms
, especially for young people who have started to find themselves in society. In spite of honest guidelines which parents try to get them prepared to play significant role in society, they are too arrogant to take any advice from them.
Instead
Linking Words
, they tend to be affected by their friends, but it must be considered that without any friends Children might become depressed and undergo trying times and it may lead to psychic manners in the long run. In conclusion, peer pressure is Influenced by Some merits and drawbacks.
Although
Linking Words
 it is crucially significant that to whom they are going to establish their
friendship
Use synonyms
, the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 relationship stands out regardless of its impact on children's behaviour and situation.
Submitted by Parvin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: