IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Governments should spend more money on medical research and less on researching the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #research #environment
Many believe governments today should prioritize funding for medicine over environmental studies. In my opinion, learning more about the environment is one way to inform policy regarding
climate
change but
Accept comma addition
change, but
 more money should be directed towards medical research. Those advocating for increased focus on the environment are eager to understand and counter the effects of
climate
change
. There is arguably no greater threat facing the future of human civilization than a degrading natural world. At the moment, billions are being poured into studies to understand how fast the polar ice caps are melting, what the impact will be, the damage to ecosystems, the interrelation between humans and these delicate ecosystems as well as the role of fossil fuels in aggravating
climate
change
. There are wildly different theories about all these areas and some think the best utilisation of investigation grants is to give scientists free rein to study and collaborate in the hope of coming to a stronger consensus, which can
then
 shape international accords and domestic policy decisions. Despite the force of the above argument, I believe health is a more tangible and pressing concern. There is constant disagreement from
climate
 scientists and it is unclear if increased funding would be a remedy or injury. Health research is unequivocally positive. Some of the many advances in health from the
last
 several decades include increased understanding of mental illness, less invasive procedures for surgery, better vaccines, and countless new iterations of advanced medical equipment. These are all put into practice immediately and save or better lives in every country around the world. More money for exploration now would open up possibilities for new medical innovations that could involve experimentation with genetic modification and greater understanding of disease prevention. In conclusion, making sense of
climate
change
 is important but nothing is more essential than one’s health. Governments ought to find ways to balance these competing interests, but
also
 be mindful of what most benefits their present citizenry.
Submitted by VA on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: