IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In the last few decades there have been more and more cases of famous people being hounded by the press. Some people think that famous people in the media have no right privacy. To what extent do you agree?

#decades #cases #people #press #media #right #privacy
Nowadays, it is widely thought that public figures have no right to
privacy
. Personally, I believe that the public figures should be entitled to having intimacy and I will outline the reasons below.
To begin
 with, the right of
privacy
 should be eligible for everyone regardless of social status. In fact, the celebrities are just human after all, they deserve to have private lives with their family and friends.
Thus
, some of their information
such
 as phone numbers, family members and home address should be kept low-profile to improve better security. If their personal information is leaked to the public, the celebrities are highly vulnerable to criminal attack.
For instance
, the home address of Miley Cyrus, a world-famous star, was made public few months ago. As a consequence, her house was broken into and many valuable personal items were robbed.
Therefore
, the celebrities must be protected from unauthorized invasion into their life. What’s more, the interference of the public to the
privacy
 of the public figures might take a toll on their career development.
In other words
, the contribution made by the celebrities is likely to be diminished, which can ruin their entire career.
For example
, Bui Tien Dung is invited to numerous events and interviews due to his outstanding performances as a goalkeeper.
As a result
, he puts in quite poor performances in recent football games because the least amount of time is spent on training and improving skills. In conclusion,
this
 essay has highlighted two primary reasons why the public figures should be entitled to
privacy
.
Submitted by pablojmartos on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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