IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #advertisements #products #lives
Advertisements
Suggestion
The advertisements
 has been one of the most used technique by business owners when it comes to selling their products in the market. Some of us end up buying
stuffs
Suggestion
stuff
 that we don't need. But others find it useful when it comes to discovering new products that can improve their lives. Living in the era where most people are greatly influenced by social media. Popular individuals
uses
Suggestion
use
this
flatform
a raised horizontal surface
platform
 to advertise stuffs.
For instance
,
last
 year one known
influencer
a power to affect persons or events especially power based on prestige etc
influence
 in social media advertises
this
 limited edition watch. As expected
large crowd
Suggestion
a large crowd
 lined up for it and buy
this
 watch even if they do not need it. People tend to impulsively buy things, they buy the product not because they need
it but
Accept comma addition
it, but
 for the love
to
Suggestion
for
of
 the person endorsing it. I believe that there is nothing wrong with purchasing stuffs
that is
 being advertised by our
favorite
something regarded with special favor or liking
favourite
influencers
a power to affect persons or events especially power based on prestige etc
influences
.
Accept space
.
 As long as we put our needs
first
 and know how to balance our needs and wants.
Submitted by Rodnie on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • persuade
  • manipulative
  • unnecessary
  • excessive
  • artificial needs
  • desires
  • consumers
  • oversaturation
  • impulse buying
  • financial problems
  • inform
  • educate
  • features
  • benefits
  • innovations
  • raise awareness
  • social issues
  • positive behavior
  • enrich
  • well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: