Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

The term happiness differs with individuals. Some people believe that money and materialistic wealth can bring

contentment

Besides

the fact, it solely depends on the perception of a person. According to my level of perception, money can't bring joy into someone's

life

. I

wil

the capability of conscious choice and decision and intention

will

explain my sort of happiness and joy in

this

essay.

Firstly

, materials and wealth will not be the same throughout our

life

For instance

, an individual having more wealth in

this

world

then

conjunction used in comparatives

than

anyone might not be happy with their needs, whereas, a person who doesn't look for

contentment

in those materialistic stuffs is likely to be happy with his own needs.

Therefore

, the mindset of an individual takes up the responsibility of

contentment

Secondly

, my level of peace of mind is achieved by helping others with their needs. Money can bring temporary peace of mind in

life but

Accept comma addition

life, but

it cannot satisfy an individual's need throughout their

life

. As per my belief, money is needed for food, shelter and safety rather not for happiness. In

this

current situation, there are still many people living in poverty without their basic needs and suffering for some change in their

life

. Even though they suffered for their basic necessity, they have pleasure and unity among them to fight for their basic needs. To conclude, in

this

materialistic world where everyone is busy with their competition of earning a salary, they have lost the real meaning of peace of mind. Sharing and caring is the only way we can earn bliss in our lives. We should learn to see prosperity and comfort from the economically disadvantaged people and we should share our belonging to them to bring that

contentment

and bliss into our lives and make our world a better place to live in.

Submitted by deepika Anju on Tue Jun 02 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehical will be passenger. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Research says more and more business training and meetings take place online. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some people are very strict about their school uniforms and the apprearance of their pupils, while other schools have a relaxed dress cod

An American writer think that tomorrow is more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a lot of pressure on young people today to success academically. As a result, some people believe that non academic subjects such as physical education and cookery should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on a academic work.