IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowaday, we are living in 4.0 world where technology, AI and Internet get over our thinking. From that, citizen changes the meeting together to the face to technic tools. Many opinion agured that the benefits of
this
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 problem are more than harmful effects. In my side, I disagree with
this
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 view. On the one hand, I will talk about the benefits.
Firstly
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, it is convenient.The tools comes with comprehensive features, lightweight and portable .
For example
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: someone are living in Hanoi, they need to unlock the phone, turn on WIfi, click to Facebook and now she can contact with any one she want.
Secondly
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, the cost is cheap. Staying at home not waste much money for coffe or snacks. Example: If you want to go outside with friends, you might think about the bill of coffee, shopping or vehicle ticket.
On the other hand
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, using social media can brings many disadvantages. First of all, we will have the weakness of social skill. When people communicate together in front of the filters for a long
time
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, it will decreased their body language or thinking about any problem at the moment. For ẽxample: You live at home for a long
time
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, just call friends to have a chat or playing games and contact by the AI characters, you will hide the skills of describing something you want, can not express yourself and get on with new people. Beside that, it is harmful for your health. Sitting, looking the screen in a
time
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 will get you physical and mental health. The green light from the smart tools with take your diot down or your brain feels tired all
time
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, sitting or lying in the bed to surf the Internet for a
while
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 are going to hurt your bones, it can feel painful more day by day.

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task response
Make your view clear at the start. State your opinion in one line.
coherence
Use one main idea in each paragraph. Start with a short sentence that states the idea.
task response
Give examples that fit the idea. Keep examples simple and true to life.
grammar
Check small grammar and spelling. This will make your essay easier to read.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas. Words like also, but, for example, and finally help the flow.
stance
You show a clear stance that you disagree with the view.
structure
There are two side ideas with a line to compare them.
coherence
You use contrast words to show diff with the other side.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interaction
  • geographical barriers
  • global community
  • cultural diversity
  • economic opportunities
  • superficial interactions
  • mental health impact
  • loneliness
  • depression
  • interpersonal relationships
  • real world
  • spread of misinformation
  • echo chambers
  • societal polarization
  • informed citizenship
  • constant connectivity
  • maintain relationships
  • fast and efficient
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