Title :Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent times, many processed foods and beverages have been produced containing high levels of sugars which can cause serious health problems. Making sugary products more expensive to discourage people from buying them is a viable solution. I somewhat agree with

this

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option. In

this

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essay, I will give my reasoning and provide a conclusion.

To begin

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with, human bodies are not designed to consume processed sugar in the form of drinks, chocolates or cakes.

For instance

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, our ancestors the hunter-gatherers would get their daily dose of

sweet

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sweetness

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exclusively from fruits or some vegetables, they did not have a product called sugar, they only tasted the sweetness of what is known as fructose and glucose in fruits and some vegetables.

Furthermore

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, researching the life of the hunter-gatherers, scientists have found that they had no co-morbidities

such

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as diabetes, Alzheimers, hypertension, obesity etc.

Hence

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This

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points to sugar being the culprit for the cause of these diseases in our society today. In light of

this

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problem, making processed sugary products more expensive is a good way to stave off the general population.

In addition

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, the taxes collected from these products should be invested into making healthier options cheaper and easily accessible.

Additionally

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, people should be educated on the subject of health and nutrition.

Consequently

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this

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will lead to a decrease in diseases in general and cut down the cost of government spending on hospitals and research on making new drugs to combat these illnesses.

Therefore

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, making sweet snacks more expensive seems to be the best standard approach to tackle health-related issues. In conclusion, it is obvious that sweet processed foods are not good for your body, and governments should take steps to make sure people are discouraged from consuming them and educated about their daily nutrition.

James Tue Jun 04 2024

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coherence cohesion

To strengthen your coherence and cohesion, focus on ensuring a more fluid logical progression of ideas between paragraphs. Currently, the ideas are connected but could flow more seamlessly.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic well, but adding more specific and varied examples would enhance your argument. Consider elaborating on how higher prices have worked in other contexts, such as tobacco or alcohol.

task achievement

Clarity of ideas can be slightly improved. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is distinct from the other paragraphs. As it stands, the second body paragraph could benefit from a more explicit topic sentence linking it to the main argument.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction is clear and sets the stage for the essay by mentioning the main points that will be discussed.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and restates the author's position in a coherent manner.

supported main points

Your use of examples, particularly about hunter-gatherers, provides a relevant historical context that supports your argument about the ill effects of processed sugar.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

manufactured food
drink products
high levels of sugars
health problems
sugary products
made more expensive
encourage consumption
public health
reformulate
lower-income families
education and awareness campaigns
excessive sugar consumption
sugar taxes
subsidize
healthier food options

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Title :Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

You work in an international company. You need to take some time off work. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter: explain why you need this time off give details of when you want this time off say who can do your work when you are away

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people it is good to share as much information as possible in sceintific research,business and academic world, others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your opinion