IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Government should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Agree or disagree?

#government #money #education #recreation #sports
Education is the foundation of our society. In order to prosper one needs to have solid academic background.
On the other hand
, it is equally essential to include curriculum for extracurricular activities.
Furthermore
, we will discuss how these two aspects are complimenting and how those shape the society. There is no denying the fact that education gives wings to our dreams. It opens several channels that would
otherwise
 be impossible to achieve.
However
, I believe that an individual’s overall development depends on both academics and recreational activities. While schooling shapes our logic and critical thinking, the latter instils us with qualities like leadership, team work and multitasking. In today’s competitive environment, it is extremely important for a student to be multitasking; physical activities generate fighting spirit in one’s mind which helps her/him cope with academic pressure and helps her/him to think out of the box. Despite of the above arguments, learning is an indispensable part of our system. In order to go up that ladder, it is prerequisite to excel ourselves in a few areas of knowledge. Especially during school, students must be well acquainted with subjects like mathematics, science and languages which enhances their cognitive skills, thereby, preparing them for future challenges. Our future generation relies on how we shape them. There is no substitute of education, it is our
first
 and foremost right. Yet, as the saying goes that a sound mind resides in a sound body.
Hence
, I strongly feel that the government should invest more on sports than on education.
Submitted by perv on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: