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Band 6.5

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disvantages?

#world #people #smartphone #disvantages
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In
this
 digital era, the majority of individuals have their own mobile or
smartphone
 in their pocket. The writer believes that the benefits of convenience and entertainment outweigh the drawbacks of causing mental problems. One of the most obvious advantages that it brings is the accessibility to contact everyone anywhere at any time without having a physical meeting. Before the
smartphone
 was invented, the only way to communicate with people from a large distance was usually by letter and it took around 2-4 weeks for transportation. In modern days, we only need a portable technology gadget and pressing a few buttons to have a conversation with anyone in every location.
As a result
, individuals have it more convenient to keep in touch with their loved ones than writing a letter. Another advantageous factor that can be considered is bringing more entertainment to humans. It is common to find thousands if not millions of programs on platforms like YouTube, Facebook, etc. Watching a movie on a gadget like a mobile phone is a fantastic way to relax after a tiring day.
Thus
, removing the stress from work and school and entertaining with individuals’ family or friends.
However
, many believe that smart gadgets can bring negativity to mental health. Using a device too much can lead to addiction, depression, anxiety or anger outbursts.
While
this
 may be true,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
 can easily be tackled by setting the number of times that we use and the
smartphone
 can automatically be shut off after that. Apple has noticed
this
 and applied it to its latest product which is
iPhone
Correct article usage
the iPhone
show examples
 16. Taking everything into account, the advantages of having entertainment and accessibility to everyone in any location surpass the disadvantages of having mental issues.
Thus
, the writer recommends everyone have their own
smartphone
.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic which is developed logically and extensively. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to better link ideas.
task achievement
When presenting advantages and disadvantages, ensure that both sides are explored in sufficient depth. Offer more specific, detailed examples to strengthen arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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