students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. what are the reasons and solutions for this issue?

#students #school #money

It is evidently true that most of the

students

loss

Replace the word

lose

show examples

the quality of handling salary in the right way. A major part of

this

problem is

due to

the shortfall of managing money in high school teaching.

This

is mainly

due to

two reasons, namely education problems

as well as

inadequacy of parental guidance.

However

, there are a number of solutions to tackle

this

situation.

Firstly

, taking the educational part, some of the universities and high schools have various extra important subjects

such

as mathematics, history and so on.

As a result

, the "Use wage effectively" course has no value at times.

Due to

this

students

often dearth the eligibility to handle finances in the appropriate way.

Additionally

students

are often left alone with anxiety in their adulthood.

Secondly

, taking the parental side, they often deny

students

from

involving

Wrong verb form

being involved

show examples

into

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fund related

Add a hyphen

fund-related

show examples

issues because they believe that they are not mature enough to understand and act

accordingly

. So

due to

this

Add a comma

this,

show examples

they do not get the opportunity to handle pay with their bare hands. So, they spend lots of cash without any hesitation unnecessarily.

Finally

, a solution to

this

problem is often easier and effective for the future generation. Universities and high school

students

can be taught how to manage their

payment

Fix the agreement mistake

payments

show examples

For instance

while

going for an educational tour or a picnic, they could carry their own capital and spend it in useful ways. Gifts and small presents can be handed over to the kids who take

this

voluntary step.

Also

, parents can educate the value of

check

Fix the agreement mistake

checks

show examples

by including and teaching them ways to spend it

Change preposition

show examples

the right place and time. By

this

, we would get a generation who would not lavishly spend their wealth and save it in the near future. In conclusion, parents and school are the first and second teachers of the

students

and their behaviour

depend

Correct subject-verb agreement

depends

show examples

on how they are taught.

Consequently

, better teaching modifications and parental watch would curb

this

unpleasant behaviour of wasting property.

Submitted by vinu_vmv on Wed Jun 03 2020

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay to ensure smoother flow of ideas and arguments. Use paragraphs to organize your points effectively.

task achievement

Ensure that all aspects of the task are fully addressed within the essay. Support your ideas with clear and relevant examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

334 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. what are the reasons and solutions for this issue?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that schoolchildren should be made to wear a uniform. Others feel that children should be free to choose their own clothes. Discuss both sides of the argument. Do you agree or disagree with pupils wearing uniforms?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?

Some people think that people should choose their job based on income in order to provide security for their family. Do you think money is an important factor when choosing a job? What other factors should be considered?

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?