IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female srudents in every subject. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#universities #numbers #srudents
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The percentage of male and female university students should equal in all
subject
Suggestion
subjects
. On one hand, if there is
a
Suggestion
an
 equality about gender in universities of all subject
,
Accept space
,
 people should embrace to see 2 gender in all jobs because we are accustomed to see 1 gender in some jobs.
For example
Linking Words
, when we go to area of
structure
Suggestion
a structure
the structure
, if we see some women there, we should think what they do here.
However
Linking Words
, if women prefer some subjects, like civil engineering or machine
engineerig
the practical application of science to commerce or industry
engineering
, we will see more women
Linking Words
then but
Accept comma addition
then, but
 we think it is enough to see some women
to change
Suggestion
changing
 something. I think it is
impossible but
Accept comma addition
impossible, but
 we should start somewhere. In
addtion
a component that is added to something to improve it
addition
, if we do that, racism for sexes will finish for jobs.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, universities have some capacity for all subjects and people shouldn’t choose what they want.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
when they
work
Use synonyms
 some jobs, which they
don’t
Use synonyms
 like, they do not
work
Use synonyms
 in 4 hands. For
exapmle
an item of information that is typical of a class or group
example
, you think someone
want
Suggestion
wants
 to be
policeman
Suggestion
a policeman
, but he wasn’t and so he
have
Suggestion
has
 to
work
Use synonyms
 as a doctor.
Therefore
Linking Words
, he
Use synonyms
don’t like
Suggestion
doesn’t like
 his job, his
pattient
a person who requires medical care
patients
 and
also
Linking Words
 his colleagues.
In addition
Linking Words
, he
Use synonyms
don’t want
Suggestion
doesn’t want
 to provide himself and so
,
Accept space
,
he
male possessive pronoun
his
work
Use synonyms
 as a basic doctor in
whole life
Suggestion
the whole life
. It has a 2 sides.
one
Suggestion
One
 of them is he never do his best job and the other is he never provide in
hisself
reflexive form of "him"
himself
his self
herself
 and
also
Linking Words
 his country. In conclusion, equality of man and woman in subjects of university is a
dillema
state of uncertainty or perplexity especially as requiring a choice between equally unfavorable options
dilemma
. I
don’t
Use synonyms
 agree with
acceptence
tolerating without protest
accepting
equal number
Suggestion
an equal number
 of man and woman because if we do that, its sum will be awful for him or
her self
reflexive form of "her"
herself
 and countries.
Submitted by Gamze Kafalı on

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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