There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

In the history of humanity, people always try to be happy.
Therefore they
Accept comma addition
Therefore, they
have found a different type of things to do that, and
music
is one of them. The
music
which was discovered by people who want to make happy themselves is one of vital thing the calm human soul.
Music
which touches people’s emotions and hearts is power If people know how can they use it as a healer. When people feel upset, they compose some sad melodies.
In contrast
, when they feel happy, they compose nice melodies to make a hem happy. When
music
touch
Suggestion
touches
people’s heart, they feel relaxed, comfortable.
Furthermore
,
music
can be rehabilitated for all of us.
For example
, a movie which has no good soundtracks does not liked by people, but if the movie has better soundtracks people like
this
movie. Because
music
is effect our emotions. Why many people love watching Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter, have you ever thought about that? Because the movies which have amazing
music
when heard by people, they go their imagine life, because the
music
support our feelings.
Therefore people
Accept comma addition
Therefore, people
need
music
. Traditional
music
which reflecting features of cultures and countries is some kind of a sign to realize what the countries have to show other people about their culture. Traditional
music
makes people stick together, because these people who have a common point in the matter of traditional
music
have many true to life stories.
On the other hand
, International
music
is the only products of popular culture. It is like an instant product. It is becoming popular suddenly and
then
goes out rapid. People care these sort of
music
just for a while.
On the other hand
, Traditional
music
is a cult
music
, it has never been old. People can remember it whenever they listen. They can find some memories because of traditional
music
. Because traditional
music
remind of people something which come from their culture.
Therefore traditional
Accept comma addition
Therefore, traditional
music
is significant
then
International
music
.
Submitted by lililli on

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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional release
  • cultural significance
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • technology
  • preservation
  • cultural heritage
  • social cohesion
  • expression
  • consumption
  • production
  • traditional music
  • international music
  • diversity
  • identity
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