There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country

In the history of humanity, people always try to be happy.

Therefore they

Accept comma addition

Therefore, they

have found a different type of things to do that, and

music

is one of them. The

music

which was discovered by people who want to make happy themselves is one of vital thing the calm human soul.

Music

which touches people’s emotions and hearts is power If people know how can they use it as a healer. When people feel upset, they compose some sad melodies.

In contrast

, when they feel happy, they compose nice melodies to make a hem happy. When

music

touch

Suggestion

touches

people’s heart, they feel relaxed, comfortable.

Furthermore

music

can be rehabilitated for all of us.

For example

, a movie which has no good soundtracks does not liked by people, but if the movie has better soundtracks people like

this

movie. Because

music

is effect our emotions. Why many people love watching Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter, have you ever thought about that? Because the movies which have amazing

music

when heard by people, they go their imagine life, because the

music

support our feelings.

Therefore people

Accept comma addition

Therefore, people

need

music

. Traditional

music

which reflecting features of cultures and countries is some kind of a sign to realize what the countries have to show other people about their culture. Traditional

music

makes people stick together, because these people who have a common point in the matter of traditional

music

have many true to life stories.

On the other hand

, International

music

is the only products of popular culture. It is like an instant product. It is becoming popular suddenly and

then

goes out rapid. People care these sort of

music

just for a while.

On the other hand

, Traditional

music

is a cult

music

, it has never been old. People can remember it whenever they listen. They can find some memories because of traditional

music

. Because traditional

music

remind of people something which come from their culture.

Therefore traditional

Accept comma addition

Therefore, traditional

music

is significant

then

International

music

Submitted by lililli on Thu Jun 04 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

332 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Recent research suggests that the majority of criminals who are sent to prison commit crimes after they are released. Why is this the case? What can be done solve this problem?

You borrowed an item from your friend. While it was in your possession, it got damaged. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Thank your friend for lending the item to you. Explain how it got damaged. Tell your friend what you plan to do about it.

In many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household task equally (e.g. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that in order for a hobby to be enjoyable, it needs to be difficult in some way. Do you agree or disagree?