IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries students must pay their own college and university fees, but in others the government pays. Do the advantages of using government money for college and university fees outweigh the advantages

#countries #students #college #university #fees #government #money
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In some countries, the government covers college and university fees, a practice that has numerous advantages. I fully agree that using public funds to support higher
education
Use synonyms
 benefits not only individual
students
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
society
Use synonyms
 as a whole.
This
Linking Words
 approach promotes equal access to
education
Use synonyms
, strengthens the economy, and alleviates the financial burden on
students
Use synonyms
. One major benefit of government-funded
education
Use synonyms
 is that it provides equal opportunities for all, regardless of financial background. In countries like Germany and Norway, where higher
education
Use synonyms
 is free or low-cost,
students
Use synonyms
 from various socioeconomic backgrounds can attend university without facing prohibitive financial barriers.
This
Linking Words
 approach reduces inequality and helps create a more inclusive
society
Use synonyms
 where people have the chance to succeed based on their abilities rather than their financial means. Equal access to
education
Use synonyms
 fosters a fairer
society
Use synonyms
, where all individuals can pursue their ambitions and contribute meaningfully to their communities. Another significant advantage is the positive impact on the national economy. With more people able to pursue higher
education
Use synonyms
, the workforce becomes more skilled, innovative, and productive. Educated individuals contribute to critical sectors
such
Linking Words
 as healthcare, technology, and
education
Use synonyms
, supporting economic growth. Countries that prioritize funding for
education
Use synonyms
 are often better prepared to face future challenges and compete in the global market, as they have a knowledgeable workforce capable of driving progress.
This
Linking Words
 investment in
education
Use synonyms
 pays off by creating a stronger, more resilient economy. In conclusion, I believe that government funding for college and university fees offers substantial benefits. It ensures equal access, supports economic growth, and alleviates the financial burdens on
students
Use synonyms
, creating a fairer and more prosperous
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

recommendation
While the essay provides a clear argument, further detailed examples, such as data or statistics, could enhance the exposition of points.
suggestion
Consider expanding on the impact of government-funded education with more specific case studies or personal anecdotes to strengthen the argument.
structure
The essay has a well-structured introduction with a clear stance and a summarizing conclusion that reinforces the main argument.
organization
Logical progression of ideas ensures that the essay flows smoothly from one point to the next, maintaining reader interest.
understanding
The essay addresses the topic effectively, showcasing comprehension and analysis of the benefits of government-funded education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: