IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

There are many benefits to a good eduction. Therefore, a university education should be offered to all students, not just students with good high school grades. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that not only
students
Use synonyms
 with high academic performance in high school but
also
Linking Words
 other
students
Use synonyms
 should have
access
Use synonyms
 to university
education
Use synonyms
. From my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 argument is compelling, as
access
Use synonyms
 to university
education
Use synonyms
 should be a right for all
students
Use synonyms
, regardless of their high school grades.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there is a perspective that only high-achieving
students
Use synonyms
 should attend top educational institutions because they are more likely to excel in their studies.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 with strong academic backgrounds are often highly motivated, which can lead to success in their future careers. Their cognitive skills are strengthened through rigorous study, which can translate into effective work performance.
For example
Linking Words
, many successful entrepreneurs,
such
Linking Words
 as Steve Jobs and Elon Musk, emphasized the importance of continuous learning in achieving success.
Secondly
Linking Words
, admitting high-achieving
students
Use synonyms
 can enhance the reputation of
universities
Use synonyms
. When successful graduates contribute to society, the prestige of their alma mater rises, providing the institution with greater recognition and credibility.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I am convinced that all
students
Use synonyms
 should be able to
access
Use synonyms
 university
education
Use synonyms
, regardless of their grades. First of all,
this
Linking Words
 aligns with the fundamental principle of human rights.
Universities
Use synonyms
 should provide equal opportunities for all
students
Use synonyms
, and
access
Use synonyms
 to
education
Use synonyms
 should not be limited.
For instance
Linking Words
, there were
universities
Use synonyms
 in the past that denied admission to certain racial groups.
However
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 discriminatory practices were eventually abolished
due to
Linking Words
 public criticism and social pressure, promoting inclusivity in
education
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, admitting
students
Use synonyms
 regardless of their grades can be financially beneficial for
universities
Use synonyms
. By accepting a larger student body,
universities
Use synonyms
 can increase their revenue through tuition fees, allowing them to invest in improved facilities and resources. In conclusion,
universities
Use synonyms
 should open their doors to all
students
Use synonyms
, not just those with high academic performance.
This
Linking Words
 approach upholds the principles of equality and human rights,
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 offering practical benefits for educational institutions.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your argument. Examples currently focus on notable figures like Steve Jobs and Elon Musk, which may not be directly related to the debate about university access.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth transition between ideas by using a wider variety of cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, addressing the topic effectively.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically structured and relevant to the task, offering a balanced view of the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • equal opportunity
  • holistic development
  • traditional academics
  • nurture and enhance
  • broader talent pool
  • tapping into talents
  • aptitudes
  • socio-economic disparities
  • lifelong learning
  • adapting to changing job markets
What to do next:
Look at other essays: