IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of the so-called mobile-stall economy?

#mobile-stall #economy
Mobile stalls have become popular currently in China, due to our new blooming-
economy
 strategy. We have talked about the mobile-stall
economy
 online and offline. In my opinion, the mobile - stall
economy
 is the initial element of our domestic
economy
 if it is under control.
First
 of all, I think mobile stalls could provide convenience for our daily life when we need to buy some stuff in time. Previously we only buy these from online or fixed shops, which would cost us plenty of time. Take screws of fixed size as an example, once my fan was missing one particular screw, if I went to the shop, it will cost me at least 1 hour and car fare. If I bought it from Taobao, I need to wait for at least one day.
Thus I
Accept comma addition
Thus, I
 went to the street market nearby taking 5 minutes.
Secondly
, more jobless people who were influenced by COVID-19 could have a source of income through setting up mobile stalls. Employment is the greatest livelihood of the people. It would bring vigour to our
economy
 from
this
 unprecedented epidemic.
Furthermore
, purchase from mobile sellers could keep living costs down, because mobile sellers do not have to pay rent. We could purchase services and products with more reasonable price,
such
 as vegetables, fruits and duplicating keys.
However
, mobile stalls may trigger some social problems with the lack of management,
such
 as pollution, noise, and obstruction to traffic.
Also
 the quality of service and products from mobile stalls may be doubted, and the after-selling service is unwarrantable, since they always have no brands. In conclusion, we should make regulations to mobile stalls, in order to reveal their strengths sufficiently and reduce potential problems.
Submitted by shelley on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: