New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

In the contemporary society, with the outbreak of
modernistic
Suggestion
modern
technologies set, the way children spend their leisure
time
has partly altered.
Although
there are some undeniable benefits of
this
phenomenon, I am of the opinion that the drawbacks are more significant. On the one hand, it is an undeniable fact that high-tech devices do exert positive effects on kids. One prominent advantage of
this
trend is that it offers children golden chances to get access to the whole world on the Internet which has a great deal of valuable knowledge to perceive.
For instance
, when I was still a secondary student, I often partake in an online English contest and
this
experience was instrumental in learning IELTS afterwards.
Last
but not least, using modern
gadgets is
Accept comma addition
gadgets, is
an effective way to let off steam after stressful hours of studying.
On the other hand
, it is believed that the existence of new technological equipments has debilitating effects on how children spend their spare
time
on recreational activities.
Firstly
, electronic games are exceedingly addictive and schoolchildren can glue their eyes to the screen to play for hours. Take my friend as a typical example. He was so engrossed
on
Suggestion
in
playing an online game, League of Legends to be more specific, that he gradually kept aloof from others, played hooky and played until very late at night day by day and
hence
, less
time
was invested in revising lessons.
As a result
,
this
led to his poorer academic records and in a short span of
time
, from the top student with flying colours he had lagged behind his peers.
Secondly
, it is irrefutable that youngsters spend too much
time
in front of the TV or computer screen might encounter some incurable diseases like short-sighted eyes.
In addition
, I do concern that future generation will lack of communication skills within the community and directly leads to the risk of autism. In conclusion, while
this
trend exists some positive features, it seems to me that its drawbacks are more remarkable because of the above-mentioned reasons.
Submitted by Hai Yen Nguyen on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • Cyberbullying
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Inappropriate content
  • Self-learning
  • Screen time
  • Social inequality
  • Enhanced communication
  • Creative expression
  • Educational resources
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