IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#countries #shootings #people #guns #home #support
Across the world, many individuals own guns for self-defence and recreational purposes. Gun related mortalities in households –
in particular
 – throw the ethics of
such
 forms of private gun ownership into sharp relief. In
this
 essay, I shall appeal to crime statistics to argue that a person is at a far greater risk being shot if there is a weapon in a household.
Firstly
, it is intuitively obvious that having a weapon in a domestic endangers children and teenagers.
This
 is because minors do not have the requisite knowledge or maturity to handle guns safely.
For example
, the US Department of Justice recently revealed statistics showing that 150 American children and teenagers die each year because of accidents relating to domestic weapons.
Therefore
, it is incontrovertible that domestic guns lead to additional shootings.
Secondly
, domestic guns became especially dangerous when spouses have violent arguments.
This
 is because male sexual rage,
in particular
, often results in deadly aggression.
For example
, The International Crime Bureau recently produced statistical evidence that – if there is a household gun – a man is twice as likely (if he discovers his wife having an affair) to kill her in a fit of jealous rage.
Therefore
, once again, household guns correlate positively with additional shootings. To recapitulate, there is undeniable evidence that having a gun in a house leads to
further
 shootings. Given the strength of
this
 evidence, in the future, more legislature needs to be put in place to limit private weapon ownership.
Submitted by ali on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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