Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Many people believe that

music

can connect people from diverse cultures and generations together. I totally agree because people can feel closer by enjoying

music

together and it is a medium that helps people understand each other better. The main reason why I agree is because enjoying

music

allows different types of people to bond.

This

is because people from different cultures and ages can enjoy listening to similar genres of

music

together and through

this

fun shared experience they can feel closer.

For instance

, at New Year large groups of people, of different cultures and ages, can count down the New Year and sing Auld Lang Syne together, and

this

can be a great bonding experience and break down barriers between people. After singing it is common to see people of different ages and nationalities hugging each other and genuinely wishing each other well-being and prosperity in the New Year.

Consequently

, it’s clearly evident, at

this

time, that people feel closer and more connected despite differences. I

also

believe that

music

can increase the understanding between different cultures and generations.

This

is because when a person listens to the preferred

music

genre of another group of people they can know more about that group of people.

For instance

, when I listened to the famous Australian

folksong

Suggestion

folk song

called Waltzing Matilda, I was able to understand Australian culture so much more.

Moreover

, I could understand the struggles that previous generations faced in Australia.

This

increased my understanding of Australians and older generations and made me emphasise

with

Suggestion

them, and understand why they behave in certain ways.

Consequently

this

increased my ability to bond with them. In conclusion, I completely believe that

music

can bring different types of people closer together.

This

is because fun shared experiences lead to bonding and increased understanding of

others leading

Accept comma addition

others, leading

to empathy and an increased ability to bond.

Therefore

, I believe

music

should be used more as a way to break down barriers amongst different types of people.

Submitted by Muzaffarjon Umidjonov on Fri Jun 05 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

332 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

It is difficult for people in cities to get enough physical exercise. What are the causes and what solutions could be taken to solve the problem

Many agricultural lands are being converted into commercial centers. How does this affect the environment and the people’s lifestyle? Discuss this situation and provide suggestions to address these issues. Support your answer with specific reasons and examples.

Some people think that it's a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it's important to keep working life completely seperate from social life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes. Others argue that this money should be spent on sports facilities for ordinary people. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.