Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

In our modern age,
disease
and
illness
can be addressed by tackling environmental
pollution
and housing
problems
. The writer of
this
essay claims that they will have results in paying attention to
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
social
problems
. First of all, the environment has a direct impact on our health.
In other words
, everyday
people
approach
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the air outside by reaching their destination on the street. In some ways,
pollution
is the one of reasons that makes the
disease
more serious. The more efforts governments make on environmental
pollution
, the less level of
illness
humans suffer from. Take India as a witness, the
people
are in danger of strange diseases because of the level of
pollution
they live in every day. Moving onto the housing
problems
, it has some effects on the way
people
live.
Moreover
, the space humans live plays a vital role in their health issues. The phenomenon of unemployment or homelessness makes the
disease
more serious. The
people
who are not provided with enough facilities housing or living conditions have abilities to be under the
illness
. Unless the president has a method for
this
issue, the
disease
will not be reduced completely.
For instance
, in recent years, the governments of Thailand have decreased the number of slums, where the
illness
has grown.
To sum up
, the
problems
of
illness
and
disease
are seen to come from the high rates of polluted environment. and housing
problems
. To solve
this
issue, the method is recommended that governments
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
spend more time on social
problems
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Introduction
Ensure your introduction clearly presents your viewpoint on the topic. A more focused thesis statement would strengthen your position.
Body Paragraphs
Develop your paragraphs with clearer topic sentences that directly state the main idea you will discuss in each paragraph.
Coherence
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This will help in making your argument more coherent.
Conclusion
Incorporate a brief conclusion that summarizes your arguments and restates your position. This will provide a strong finish to your essay.
Examples
Provide more specific examples to support your claims about environmental pollution and housing issues. This will enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
Content Relevance
You effectively highlight the significance of environmental pollution and housing issues on health, which shows good understanding of the topic.
Organisation
Your essay structure is logical, allowing readers to follow your arguments on the importance of addressing pollution and housing for health.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive healthcare
  • environmental regulations
  • respiratory diseases
  • public health policies
  • sanitation facilities
  • urban planning
  • communicable diseases
  • socio-economic factors
  • sustainable development
  • government intervention
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • industrial emissions
  • air quality index
  • affordable housing
  • mental wellbeing
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