Some people think that technology is now an invaluable study tool for young people. Others, however, believe that it is harmful for the studying process. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #technology #study #tool #process

Machinery has been

developing

Suggestion

developed

and is used by lots of people including education. Some people believe that

automation

is a useful tool for studying.

However

, many people argue that it is detrimental to the studying process. In my opinion, I strongly agree with those viewpoints that relate to machinery in education. Machinery has brought about some benefits of studying.

Firstly

, the Internet has provided students access the information globally.

For instance

, students can access old and new information which has been published by lots of websites all around the world by clicking on those websites.

As a result

, they definitely extend their knowledge and acquire useful ability in order to develop themselves.

In addition

, Education in recent days is not only a traditional study method of learning at school.

However

automation

has invented a new educational platform which is called “study online”. In fact, lots of schools are operating online study for their students.

Consequently

, students are able to study with their instructor online via Zoom or other platforms which is similar to studying at school and

also

grant knowledge from studying online.

On the other hand

automation

also

provides a negative effect on the studying process. The main impact of studying is that students trust information and depend on machinery. In

this

case students might probably use their devices to take a photo from a whiteboard

instead

of taking notes in the book. Under these circumstances, the students may cause laziness and lack of innovation.

Furthermore

, the possibility of plagiarism from other available sources on the internet can be done by students. To summarize, even

automation

delivers the benefit of studying by gaining the students' knowledge for a ton of sources on the internet,

howeverhowever

Suggestion

however however

also

causes to decrease the students educational performance. Even though it has many useless things,

however I

Accept comma addition

however, I

encourage you to use it effectively and in a good way.

Submitted by Sao Sokunchannaroth on Fri Jun 05 2020

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

315 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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