Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but nobody has agreed on what an ideal society would look like. What do you think is the most important element needed to make a society perfect? How can the ideal society be achieved

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Throughout the course of history, living in a utopia has been the dream of people around the world;

however

Linking Words

, the idea of a perfect society has not been agreed upon. The following essay is going to discuss why equality is the key to establishing a utopian society and how

this

Linking Words

dream can be achieved through educational opportunities.

To begin

Linking Words

with, a large proportion of global issues is associated with the belief in entitlement and social hierarchies.

Hence

Linking Words

, to bring forth a utopia, humans need to eliminate the sources of these problems and create impartiality.

This

Linking Words

means that civil rights are the most crucial cornerstone when it comes to creating a utopian civilisation. Simply put, individuals should have the right to access every amenity that a nation can provide

such

Linking Words

as social welfare and educational opportunities.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Vietnam, people in remote areas

such

Linking Words

as Lang Son should

also

Linking Words

be able to be examined by skilled doctors from prestigious hospitals from

Hanoi

Correct article usage

the Hanoi

show examples

capital. That brings us to the means to achieve the dream of

Change the article

show examples

perfect country, which is through education.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the government should educate citizens about the importance of

indisparity

Correct your spelling

disparity

in disparity

For example

Linking Words

, seminars and workshops should be held to make citizens aware of the disadvantages each ethnicity faces.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, individuals should be given chances to participate in charities in underdeveloped areas.

This

Linking Words

will help them understand the living conditions of the underprivileged,

thus

Linking Words

developing their understanding of equality. In conclusion, a perfect society can translate into a world where people are equal to others, and

this

Linking Words

ideal world can be achieved through education.

duongntt.tldSat Mar 15 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear opinion and effectively addresses the question. However, it would benefit from a more explicit statement of how equality leads to a perfect society. Consider exploring this connection further in your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure you vary your sentence structures to enhance the flow of your writing. You have some great ideas, but smoother transitions could improve coherence within your paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

Be cautious with minor inaccuracies in phrasing, such as 'an perfect country' which should be 'a perfect country', as these detract from the overall quality of your writing.

task achievement

You effectively articulate your main points and provide relevant examples to support your argument, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, which enhances the overall clarity and coherence of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Today more and more people want things instantly (goods, service, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?
An increasing number of people gravitate towards instant services thesedays. Personally, the writer believes this trend is more popular due to the current nature of life and contends that this is a major step forward of human life.
6.5
band
Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to become successful career. While others believe that it is better to get a job staight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The majority of people often say that the best way to gain a successful life is by studying at college or university,while others think that the way forward is to have a job after school.Both viewpoints are valid but I prefer the former choice and I will highlight the reason in the following essay.
7.5
band
In the advertising, businesses nowadaways usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you thinkn it is a positive or negative development?
In recent years, companies often tried to show consumers that their products are new in their advertising. This is a strategy which assists them in attracting consumers and them to buy their products. I think this is a negative development which is elaborated on in the following essay.
7
band
More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of difficulties of living in city. How can government make urban life better for everyone?
Nowadays, a significant increase in migrants to cities with a hope of better settlement is a big concern for societies around the world. The shortage of well-paid jobs in rural communities compels workers to immigrate to megacities with the purpose of better earnings for living. Unfortunately, job vacancies offered by manufacturing and service businesses require proficiency qualifications from applicants and the cost of living in general extremely high compared with their low incomes. I believe that two of the major causes for difficulty in city settlement are job opportunities and extremely high cost of real estate. However, central governments have also developed a number of long-term effective solutions to save the situation.
7.5
band
Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is argued that serious social and practical issues can arise if you are living in a state where you have to speak a foreign language. This essay strongly agrees with the statement as this can cause basic communication problems and difficulties in understanding the bureaucracy.

Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but nobody has agreed on what an ideal society would look like. What do you think is the most important element needed to make a society perfect? How can the ideal society be achieved

Your opinion

Today more and more people want things instantly (goods, service, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to become successful career. While others believe that it is better to get a job staight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the advertising, businesses nowadaways usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you thinkn it is a positive or negative development?

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of difficulties of living in city. How can government make urban life better for everyone?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?