IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Money is the only reason why people work hard. Do you disagree or agree.

It is sometimes argued that salary is the only reason of working hard, while it is true to a certain extent,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 believe that there are other that draw people to
work
Use synonyms
 harder. On the one hand, it is
undenied
not precisely limited, determined, or distinguished
undefined
underneath
 that
money
Use synonyms
 plays an important role in our daily
lives we
Accept comma addition
lives, we
 all need
money
Use synonyms
 to cover basis needs, pay for hobbies or dwell the ourselves and no one aspect of these can
done
Suggestion
do
 without
money
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, In some countries,
such
Linking Words
 as Japan, Korean where a fixed amount of
money
Use synonyms
 is paid per unit of
work
Use synonyms
 which leads employees
work
Use synonyms
 so hard.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
work
Use synonyms
 with high salary will attract more employees to apply.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe that there are
another
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 elements which encourage people to toil
such
Linking Words
 as the pleasure of
work
Use synonyms
 and job satisfaction. Volunteer works are the finest example that
show
Suggestion
shows
 people not only
work
Use synonyms
 for earning
living
Suggestion
a living
, but some other meaningful reasons. They just want to contribute something positive to society.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there are many people like young doctors who travel to undeveloped countries to cure patients b receiving
lower salary
Suggestion
lower salaries
a lower salary
 than in their own countries. Via working in other countries can improve their skills in their fields and get good reputation when returning their countries.
Therefore
Linking Words
, experience and unabated enthusiasm are what make people want to
work
Use synonyms
 hard
.
Accept space
.
 In conclusion, while salaries
is
Suggestion
are
 pivotal key to encourage more hard-working employees, I completely believe that there are other reasons affecting worker's attitude in working.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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