IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #reason #language #travel #work #country #someone
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are competing views on studying a new
language
Use synonyms
 in order to survive in travel or work in other countries. Other
people
Use synonyms
 think that there are other reasons for
people
Use synonyms
 should learn a new
language
Use synonyms
. I believe that learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 has many capabilities and advantages for many
population
Change to a plural noun
populations
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 is important for performance in industry and travel. Some countries have different dialects or literature.
For example
Linking Words
, Jepang has traditional Japanese literature called kanji or haiku which many
people
Use synonyms
 spend money on tour guides.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, studying abroad and working in a foreign country is pursued to learn their accent and culture to survive with local
people
Use synonyms
 and local dialects.
Moreover
Linking Words
, learning a second
language
Use synonyms
 is mandatory in many academic syllabi. Learning different languages can increase multilingual
skills
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 is good for the motor
skills
Use synonyms
 of children.
For instance
Linking Words
, English is mandatory in many schools in Indonesia. Studying the English
language
Use synonyms
 has advantages for many students when applying to many companies.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who have
skills
Use synonyms
 in more than one
language
Use synonyms
 are capable of reading a book and making new friends from different nationalities. Studying different languages can make
people
Use synonyms
 expand their social and professional networks which is good for the long term. In conclusion, studying different languages is important when you should travel, work, and study abroad. I believe, there are more advantages for many
people
Use synonyms
 than moving, migration and work
such
Linking Words
 as increasing their motor
skills
Use synonyms
 and capabilities for reading books and making new friends in another country.
Submitted by dliyaa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically to the next. Some areas could benefit from more coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
While examples are provided, try to include more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your task response.
language use
Review grammar and spelling errors to enhance clarity and precision.
coherence cohesion
Good attempt at providing an introduction and conclusion, which clearly address the essay prompt.
task achievement
The essay covers different perspectives and provides a balanced viewpoint.
idea development
Poses interesting points about learning languages enhancing social and professional networks.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: