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Band 6.5

International tourism has bought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment.

#tourism #places #time #concern #impact #inhabitants #environment
Many
people
 love to travel outside their countries to explore and learn about new places. Overseas attractions have brought positive outcomes in many locations.
On the other hand
, issues arise about the impact it has on local animals and the environment.
This
 essay will discuss both the disadvantages and advantages of international
tourism
.
Although
this
 has more negative outcomes, it
also
 has better results for many places. Unfortunately, there are many numbers of negative outcomes of
tourism
 and pollution is a big one. Many
people
 use flights, cruise ships and cars to travel which causes air and water pollution.
Thus
, all
this
 contributes to climate change, especially the emission of carbon dioxide from all forms of transportation. The distraction of the ecological system is another one. The excessive use of water and increase of waste in the environment may cause harm to local animal habitats resulting in the extinction of some.
Although
 less favourable issues have been raised, international
tourism
also
 provides benefits to local
people
 through the creation of jobs. During the building of the hotels and the operation of them, local communities are hired which results in personal gain. It
also
 develops the country. Most countries receive benefits through
tourism
 tax paid,
thus
 money flows toward the development of roads, hospitals and schools which reduces reliance on foreign aid. In conclusion, international attraction presents the negative and positive that impacts both the local animals and the environment. It
also
 provides robust changes in
people
's lives whilst there is damage being done. Countries should balance the benefits with the ugly by having a
close
Replace the word
closed
show examples
 and open season for international travellers to visit.
Submitted by caroloks on

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Task Achievement
To enhance task response, make sure to address the topic in a more comprehensive manner. This includes developing a clearer stance throughout the essay and supporting your arguments with more specific examples and evidence. For instance, rather than mentioning tourism's benefits in broad terms, specify particular industries or communities positively impacted and offer concrete examples of environmental or cultural preservation efforts supported by tourism revenue.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by organizing your ideas more effectively. You could start by introducing a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader. Additionally, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect sentences and ideas smoothly. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily and enhance the overall flow of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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