In many countries children are getting fatter and less fit day by day. Why is it so and suggest solution

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, children are becoming obese as well as physically unfit, which is a burning issue of every nation. There is a plethora of dilemma, including leading a sedentary life and lack of physical exercise which are the most prominent for children.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
menace can be solved by adopting a healthy, balanced-diet and engage in outdoor sports activity.
This
Linking Words
essay will
further
Linking Words
elaborate the above-mentioned statement in the subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, let shed some light on the factor that helps the children to become over-weight.
First
Linking Words
and foremost, children are addicted to the internet that aid to put on weight as they spend long hours in front of the screen. That's mean, they become fatter due to spend an hour on the social sites that may lead to play a sedentary role in their life.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey was conducted by the University of Western Sydney in 2017 that revealed that near around 75% of younger generation range from 15-20 years old become obese due to overuse on the internet where they have a scarcity of physical moment.
Secondly
Linking Words
, another reason is the dearth of physical exercise as the majority of the children spend time on academic achievement. In other word, children are
also
Linking Words
getting pressurized by their teachers and parents to procure decent grades in academics. Due to engrossed in their studies, they have less time to engage in any sport activities.
For example
Linking Words
, around 85% of the children are not participating in sports due to pressure of higher studies. There are some possible solutions to curb the obesity problems by mixed actions of parents along with the society.
Firstly
Linking Words
, parents should encourage their children to imbibe healthy attitude by eating homemade food. They should be educated regarding the detrimental effect of obesity, so that they become conscious about their health.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the community should motivate them to participate in either outdoor sports or join the sports clubs that assist them to maintain their daily regime resulting in becoming healthier.
Hence
Linking Words
, by cooperation of parents accompany by the society aid them not only to maintain their health, but
also
Linking Words
engage in any games that elevate their self-esteem and build confidence. To conclude, it can be said that by leading a sedentary nature and lack of exercise bring serious consequences on children,
therefore
Linking Words
, they must be vigilant about the healthy life of their parents and society.
Submitted by saini on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: