IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

People try new dangerous sports such as sky-diving or rock climbing. Should such sports be banned?

#people #sports #rock
In recent years, we have been experiencing considerable amount of rise in the dangerous and adventurous sporting events
such
 as skydiving, scuba-diving or rock climbing. It is highly debatable whether these sports should be banned or not.
This
 essay shall delve into the reasons why these games should not be banned
instead
 should be held under strict supervision.
Firstly
, it is irrefutable that people now-a-days are thrill-driven. Banning
such
 sports still does not guarantee that these events will not be held.
For example
, recently, the government of India has imposed a ban on Jalli Kyoto, which is a traditional event of Tamilnadu. But there are many communities who organized these events unofficially and the demographic survey showed that the number of the participated people is no less when compared to the previous year. So, even though a ban is forced, these sport events take place because of the thrill involved in
such
 games.
Secondly
, some of these sports can
also
 bring name and fame to the country.
For instance
, Ms. James from India was the
first
 women to climb the Mount Everest and it was all over the news worldwide. If there was a ban on
such
 event, India would have loosened that opportunity of
such
 fame.
Therefore
, It is evident that some of these events benefit the country’s image in the world map and should not be banned. On the flip side, these events can cause fatal injuries and even deaths. A recent death of a student who tried scuba-diving in Newzealand was in the mainstream news. It was
also
 well-known that he tried it himself without any pre-training or supervision.
Such
 incidents can be prevented by strict administration of the bodies that organize these events and mandatory regulations Taking the positive and negative aspects of the whole into consideration, It is agreeable that sports
such
 as skydiving or rock-climbing that involve physical risks should not be banned, but should be regulated by involving strict surveillance and taking necessary precautions to minimize risks.
Submitted by deepthi k on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: