Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that thia would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #thia #effect #measures

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In the contemporary world

as well as

Linking Words

in the past, the topic of public

health

Use synonyms

has constituted an important element of public debate. Nowadays, it is often said that in order to improve it an increase

Change preposition

show examples

the number of

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

Use synonyms

is needed;

however

Linking Words

, others

agrue

Correct your spelling

argue

agree

that

such

Linking Words

an approach would not contribute to

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

overall

Linking Words

improvement and that more complex steps are

neccesary

Correct your spelling

necessary

. Each of these views has both pros and cons. Undoubtedly,

sport

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has a significant impact on

health

Use synonyms

. Not only does it

allows

Correct subject-verb agreement

allow

show examples

you to lose fat, but

also

Linking Words

to stay in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good form which positively

incluences

Correct your spelling

influences

influence

your body.

Therefore

Linking Words

, if there was an increase

Change preposition

show examples

the number of

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

Use synonyms

, it would

contibute

Correct your spelling

contribute

maintain

Wrong verb form

maintaining

show examples

public

health

Use synonyms

as more people would be able to exercise daily. To illustrate

this

Linking Words

, many individuals are eager to do

sport

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

, especially in winter, they suffer from a lack of

the

Correct article usage

show examples

place to do it,

thus

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the

show examples

construction of new

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

Use synonyms

would enable them to exercise. On the

oher

Correct your spelling

other

hand, more complex steps are required too. In order to improve public

health

Use synonyms

the emphasis should be put on

rising

Correct your spelling

raising

show examples

the awareness of healthy lifestyle in general. It means that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

not only is

sport

Use synonyms

essential to maintain public

health

Use synonyms

, but

also

Linking Words

other measures

such

Linking Words

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

diet.

Consequently

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

sport

Use synonyms

is a significant factor that influences our

health

Use synonyms

, the other ones are

neccesary

Correct your spelling

necessary

as well. In conclusion, in my opinion, regardless of

sport

Use synonyms

, other steps

also

Linking Words

have to be

done

Verb problem

taken

show examples

to increase public

health

Use synonyms

. Despite the fact that new

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

Use synonyms

would enable people to exercise throughout the whole year, a growth of the awareness of

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

diet is

slo

Correct your spelling

relevant.

Submitted by kuba.glogowski on Wed Oct 02 2024

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General

Work on your spelling and grammar to avoid minor errors that can interfere with clarity. For example, 'include,' 'contribute,' and 'necessary' were misspelled.

Task Response

Ensure that all main points have supporting examples or evidence to strengthen your response. For instance, when discussing a healthy diet, you could provide examples or explain how awareness campaigns have improved public health.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve logical flow, ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments more clearly.

Task Response

You provided a clear and comprehensive response to the task, addressing both views and giving your opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Both the introduction and conclusion were present and effectively framed your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay had a logical structure, making it easier to follow your ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that thia would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

With a growing world population, many people believe that we should focus on producing more GM foods. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?

What can be done to maintain biodiversity?

Some people believe environmental problems require global attention whereas some believe they can be dealt with on a national level. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some employers of er their employees subsidised membership of gyms and sports clubs,believing that this will make their staf healthier and thus more ef ective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say in order to prevent illness and diseases, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?