some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

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Some people believe that it is best to accept
unfavorable
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unfavourable
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circumstances
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,
such
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as an unsatisfactory job or financial difficulties,
while
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others argue that one should strive to improve
such
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situations.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why adopting a proactive approach to problem-solving is more beneficial in the long run. On one hand, some
individuals
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accept difficult situations because they believe certain
circumstances
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are beyond their control and attempting to change them is futile.
For example
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, if a company goes bankrupt and employees are laid off, they may feel that looking for alternative employment is the only practical solution.
Additionally
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, constantly stressing over challenges can negatively impact mental health, leading to anxiety and depression. From
this
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perspective, acceptance can help
individuals
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conserve energy and focus on adapting to new
circumstances
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rather than dwelling on problems they cannot control.
On the other hand
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, many people, including myself, believe that actively seeking solutions is a more effective approach. Problem-solving fosters resilience and self-confidence, allowing
individuals
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to improve their
circumstances
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rather than remain stuck in adversity.
For instance
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, employees in developing countries who struggle with seasonal job shortages can enhance their skills or explore entrepreneurial opportunities
instead
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of simply accepting their situation.
Moreover
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, having a proactive mindset trains the brain to think critically and creatively, leading to better decision-making in future challenges.
Therefore
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, taking initiative not only improves one’s current situation but
also
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equips
individuals
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with lifelong skills for personal and professional growth. In conclusion,
while
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accepting unavoidable
circumstances
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may reduce stress temporarily, making an effort to improve one's situation ultimately leads to greater success and self-empowerment. By adopting a problem-solving mindset,
individuals
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can enhance their skills, explore new opportunities, and build resilience, all of which contribute to long-term personal and professional
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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.

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task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument clearly. To enhance the score, ensure that every point is developed with sufficient depth.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, with distinct paragraphs that flow well from one to another. To improve cohesion, consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases for smoother transitions.
task achievement
Examples are relevant and illustrate the points made, but including a few more specific examples could further strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The argument is well-structured and each point is supported logically, making it easy for the reader to follow the line of reasoning.
task achievement
The writing demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and sentence structures, which enhances the overall readability.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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