Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in childhood obesity while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is commonly believed by some people that
government
has a duty to solve
problem
Suggestion
the problem
problems
of the growing number of
overweigh
Suggestion
over weight
over weigh
children while others believe that
this
health
concern should be a responsibility of
parent
Suggestion
parenting
. In my opinion, I think that both parties have an obligation and role to solve
this
issue.
To begin
with,
government
can support a healthy lifestyle and has authority to control fast
food
business, which is the main contributor to obesity in children. Research from Imperial College London revealed that
food
contribute nearly 60% of
overweigh
Suggestion
over weigh
problem
Suggestion
the problems
problems
and so children from developed countries can easily afford those unhealthy meals and develop
this
chronic
health
issue. State in many countries uses their power to ensure
health
Suggestion
the health
of young generation.
For instance
, in order to stop the expansion of unhealthy
food
business, the UK
government
enacted the law to not allow the new fast
food
restaurants to be open in school areas.
In addition
, it
also
has launched the campaign for promoting
health lifestyle
Suggestion
a healthy lifestyle
healthy lifestyle
healthy lifestyles
healthier lifestyle
and exercise in local communities in which children can take part to do outdoor activities to maintain good
health
.
Consequently
, the number of children, who experienced overweight in
UK
Suggestion
the UK
, has been decreasing in the past few years.
On the other hand
,
parent
Suggestion
the parent
a parent
plays an important role to teach and provide a good dietary for children.
Parent
Suggestion
The parent
can control the foods that children have to eat at every meal and
also
gives an education about nutrients that benefit of a body.
Therefore
, children will select to eat
food
that is
good for their well-being and will not develop
overweigh
problem
since they are young. World
health
organization discovers that children, whose
parent
cooks for their meals, have less risk to have obesity when compared to others who have meals outside their home.
Moreover
, children learn to develop the
health
dietary from their
parent
tend to have healthy life when they become adult. In conclusion, no only the
government
that has a role to protect healthy diet and lifestyle for young generation, but
also
parent
can help manage and educate children to eat healthy
food
that not lead to
overweigh
problem
.
Submitted by lp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: