Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in childhood obesity while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #rise #childhood #obesity #fault #parents

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It is commonly believed by some people that

government

Use synonyms

has a duty to solve

Use synonyms

problem

Suggestion

the problem

problems

of the growing number of

Use synonyms

overweigh

Suggestion

over weight

over weigh

children while others believe that

this

Linking Words

health

Use synonyms

concern should be a responsibility of

Use synonyms

parent

Suggestion

parenting

. In my opinion, I think that both parties have an obligation and role to solve

this

Linking Words

issue.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

government

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can support a healthy lifestyle and has authority to control fast

food

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business, which is the main contributor to obesity in children. Research from Imperial College London revealed that

food

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contribute nearly 60% of

Use synonyms

overweigh

Suggestion

over weigh

Use synonyms

problem

Suggestion

the problems

problems

and so children from developed countries can easily afford those unhealthy meals and develop

this

Linking Words

chronic

health

Use synonyms

issue. State in many countries uses their power to ensure

Use synonyms

health

Suggestion

the health

of young generation.

For instance

Linking Words

, in order to stop the expansion of unhealthy

food

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business, the UK

government

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enacted the law to not allow the new fast

food

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restaurants to be open in school areas.

In addition

Linking Words

, it

also

Linking Words

has launched the campaign for promoting

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health lifestyle

Suggestion

a healthy lifestyle

healthy lifestyle

healthy lifestyles

healthier lifestyle

and exercise in local communities in which children can take part to do outdoor activities to maintain good

health

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Consequently

Linking Words

, the number of children, who experienced overweight in

Suggestion

the UK

, has been decreasing in the past few years.

On the other hand

Linking Words

Use synonyms

parent

Suggestion

the parent

a parent

plays an important role to teach and provide a good dietary for children.

Use synonyms

Parent

Suggestion

The parent

can control the foods that children have to eat at every meal and

also

Linking Words

gives an education about nutrients that benefit of a body.

Therefore

Linking Words

, children will select to eat

food

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that is

Linking Words

good for their well-being and will not develop

overweigh

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problem

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since they are young. World

health

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organization discovers that children, whose

parent

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cooks for their meals, have less risk to have obesity when compared to others who have meals outside their home.

Moreover

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, children learn to develop the

health

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dietary from their

parent

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tend to have healthy life when they become adult. In conclusion, no only the

government

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that has a role to protect healthy diet and lifestyle for young generation, but

also

Linking Words

parent

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can help manage and educate children to eat healthy

food

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that not lead to

overweigh

Use synonyms

problem

Use synonyms

Submitted by lp on Thu Jun 11 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

356 words

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Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in childhood obesity while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think city planners should create more green spaces and plant trees. Others believe that they should focus on building new houses. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some students choose to work or travel after leaving school and before going to university. Many people, however, say that working experience is more useful in adult life than travel. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?