IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people are exercising less. Some people say that by watching major sport events on television such as the Olympics, people can be encouraged to exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sport #events #television #olympics #exercise
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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, world is changing a lot. People are facing many problems which are related to the health. People have their own different views regarding to how to ready other people
for
Suggestion
to
Use synonyms
excercise
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
. In my opinion to show the
benefite
financial assistance in time of need
benefit
benefits
 of
Use synonyms
excercise
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
 is the best
way to to encourage
Suggestion
way to encourage
 everyone. In the following paragraphs, I have some strong arguments to support my view.
However
Linking Words
, some humans
are believe
Suggestion
believe
are believed
have believed
are believing
 that, when people are watching sports on
t
the thing named or in question
it
.
v at
Suggestion
Vat
V at
 that time they can
automatecially
in a reflex manner
automatically
 encouraged by themselves. There are many reasons, why they
are believing
Suggestion
believe
 in
this
Linking Words
. Because when we see something
exceting
creating or arousing excitement
exciting
existing
 at that time we
Linking Words
also tring
Suggestion
are also trying
also trying
 to the same thing. When people see the positive effect of the
excecise
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
excess
access
,
tyhey
people in general
they
 can easily understand the importance of it. In 2009, one government report shows that, 52
percertange
a proportion in relation to a whole (which is usually the amount per hundred)
percentage
 people who are
dowing
engage in
doing
down
sowing
regular workout
Suggestion
regular workouts
a regular workout
, they
starts
Suggestion
start
 it after watching sports on
screen
Suggestion
the screen
.
This
Linking Words
 is the main reason why our parents
suggustus
Suggestion
suggest
suggests
 to watch
theb
definite article
the
the b
 health related programs.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people have
different mentality
Suggestion
a different mentality
different mentalities
. They think that people can be encouraged by many other ways
for
Suggestion
to
Use synonyms
excercise
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
. Schools and colleges can deliver the lectures on it. Advertising companies can
also
Linking Words
 print the posters to attract the youth. Government can open free or low pricing gym to attract everyone for their
batter
something superior in quality or condition or effect
better
 health. To conclude, I personally believe that the easiest way to connect the people with
Use synonyms
excercise
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
 is to show them the good side of it and
also
Linking Words
 show them the
nagative
characterized by or displaying negation or denial or opposition or resistance; having no positive features
negative
 effect of not doing it.
Overall
Accept comma addition
Overall, this
this
Linking Words
 is
befefical
of or relating to or being biography
biographical
 for the society as well as for the country.
Submitted by rushipatel1953 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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