IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people thinks that books should be stopped in school and that videos, films and computers should be used instead. To what extent do you agree?

#people #books #school #videos #films #computers
The topic on whether the source of learning should be the books or virtual forms
such
 as videos, films and computers has always been argued. There are valid explanations for either side,
however in
Accept comma addition
however, in
 my view, the primary source of education should be through books with an additional support from the computers.
To begin
 with, the books are economical to buy in comparison to the computers and the laptops which can’t be easily afforded by the entire society.
In addition
 it, the extended part of education which is done after the schools at home can be readily completed through books, whereas computers require separate power outage and internet connections which
further
 limit its use in areas with limited electricity supply.
Similarly
, the books can be easily marked and carried by students in the areas where electrical devices are not allowed especially in the examination building waiting areas.
Moreover
, the learning through books improve the handwriting skills of the children, which is fading away in the world of digitization. Contrarily, the use of computers gives the visual representation of the knowledge and
thus
, making it easier to learn and remember.
Additionally
, it
further
 prepares the youngster to the growing world of digitization by teaching them the basic use of the computers.
However
, the prolonged sitting time in the front of screens for studies can give rise to various health conditions later in the life
such
 as vision problem, headache and obesity. To recapitulate, I opine regardless of the benefits of computers, the books should always be the main source of teaching to ensure the optimum performance of the learners.
Submitted by Man Kaur on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: