IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

All fathers should be entitled to time-off from work when their children are born. What is your opinion?

#fathers #time-off #work #children
Paternity leave is very important for the Women, so that, they could give to their children without any problem. Some people think that leave from the job should be given to men who are going to have a baby. Let us discuss
this
 statement before concluding with an opinion for a better understanding.
To begin
 with, Baby is a part of both woman and man lives. Employers give paternity leave only to wives who are going to give birth to a child which is unfair for husbands. Fathers
also
 desire to spend a lot of
time
 with their new baby.
For example
, playing with them knowing their small habits and so on. These are very interesting as well as
happy moments
Suggestion
the happy moments
 for them to
remind
recall knowledge from memory; have a recollection
remember
 one day.
Thus
,
Time
 off for fathers should be entitled for their happy life with a new baby born.
Furthermore
, Helping wives at the moment of their pregnancy period is another reason to give
time
 off from work to their husbands. At that
time
, it
is
Suggestion
was
 very difficult for women to do household chores. If their partner have leave from work, they could take care of their wives. Despite all these, Employers
also
 get benefit from giving
time
 off to their male workers. To be clear, At the delivery
time
, fathers are very
stress
Suggestion
stressed
 and unconscious. They are unable to concentrate on their work
as a result
 the employer can loose profitably. To conclude, After having a big discussion, I am in the favour that fathers should be entitled
for
Suggestion
to
 paternity leave. Helping their wives or having benefit for employers are the two reasons
of
Suggestion
for
this
.
Submitted by manpreet15011998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: