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Writing Samples
Band 6

Life is now better that it was 100 years ago. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#life #years
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Compared to
life
Use synonyms
 as it was 100 years ago, many people argue that it has greatly improved and people said that it is better to live in the current
life
Use synonyms
 rather than in the past. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea to
great extent
Suggestion
a great extent
, but
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
also
Linking Words
 believe that there are many aspects of the
life
Use synonyms
 were better in the past.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 want to say that people are much enjoyed in the present. There
are
Suggestion
is
 a lot of improvement that brings benefit to them
such
Linking Words
 as the advent of modern technology, the development facilities, and many more.
For example
Linking Words
, with the help of
internet
Suggestion
the internet
, the society is now able to connect with one another easily, regardless of the location or time differences,
also
Linking Words
 the internet makes people work easily and faster.
Moreover
Linking Words
, facilities
has improved
Suggestion
have improved
 in
such
Linking Words
 a way too,
espicially
to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common
especially
 in health and education. With the improvement of health facilities, death ratio is remarkably low and because of the improvement of education, we can see many people has
higher education level
Suggestion
a higher education level
 that brings a lot of profit.
Although
Linking Words
, regarding the past, people probably had a peaceful
life
Use synonyms
. At the time, the proportion of
crimes
Suggestion
crime
 was significantly low. Now compared to the past, there are much bigger
crimes
Suggestion
crime
 because people can commit crimes through the social media
such
Linking Words
 as cyber bullying, hacking, and others.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the quality of water and air has decreased over the years because of pollution. Many species of birds and animals have disappeared from the planet due to human activity. To conclude,
life
Use synonyms
 has greatly improved as
human race
Suggestion
the human race
a human race
 has made
better
Suggestion
good
 progress in most aspects of the
life
Use synonyms
 over 100 years in the
last
Linking Words
 100 years.
However
Linking Words
, the same advancements have
also
Linking Words
 adversely affected our
Use synonyms
life
Suggestion
lives
 and planet in the form of pollution, contamination, and global warming. People need to ensure that new technologies benefit the planet as well, so that we will have an even better world after 100 years.
Submitted by Michelle Angelina on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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