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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

İn some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both two views and give your opinion.

#i̇n #countries #people #salaries #country #government #control #limit #amount #two
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The most debatable argument worldwide is about the salary earned in various sectors of our community. Few arguments support how the earnings of an individual can be justified equivalence of their type of work and beneficial for the country.
On the other hand
, some expect that leading authority may anticipate dominance over the salary and put a cap on it. In my perspective, the higher wages are received by the amount of risk driven
in particular
 work within the regulations set by the government. To commence with, people with high salaries have a greater input in the economy of a country. The significant contribution to GDP affects the retail and real estate sectors.
In addition
 to
this
, a large number of cheques attract good talent.
This
 competitive world requires innovation and ideas to lead in the market. The skilled workers are the backbone of the society. Doctors, scientists, army officers and engineers are examples of highly skilled employees. The indulgence of venture makes their job tougher and worthy of the amount receiving.
For instance
, an army officer has to go through so many difficult situations and endanger their life. There are many stories behind how the family has lost their member
due to
 performing their duty on site. Government plays a crucial role in managing the
overall
 growth of a society. One of the major factors involves the tax paid by the people in different forms. There should be a structural idea behind the tax management system to reduce inequality in income. In
this
 way, most people should place above the poverty line which results in the development of a country. To provide a good model of work in Canada, CRA, the Canada Revenue Agency implemented a certain cap on the salaries earned by employees, as high the wage would need to be higher taxes.
On the other hand
, low wages get subsidies over the tax. In my opinion, the employee should get paid the same as the risk factor involved in the job. But
also
, the government should implement a certain rule to wipe out wage inequality and place equity in the association.
Submitted by harshitkaur321 on

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coherence cohesion
Develop a clearer essay structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This will enhance logical flow and make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
Make sure to introduce both views clearly in the introductory paragraph and restate your opinion in the conclusion for a stronger impact.
coherence cohesion
Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea, followed by examples and explanations. This will improve clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a variety of transitional words and phrases to link ideas more smoothly between and within paragraphs, enhancing coherence.
task achievement
To strengthen your argument, provide more specific examples and details to support your points. This will also improve your essay's persuasive power.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • government revenue
  • talent and innovation
  • income distribution
  • wealth gap
  • social programs
  • infrastructure projects
  • equitable
  • attracting skilled individuals
  • salary caps
  • disproportionately wealthy
  • social equality
  • resources allocation
What to do next:
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