In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
These days
people
in some countries tend to be prone the weight and this
issue has a negative effect on their health and physical condition. This
essay will reveal the possible ways to eradicate or reduce the above-mentioned problem.
First and foremost, a sedentary lifestyle is the main reason why people
gain weight very easily and quickly. To be more precise, today our society has various comfortable options for life: work from home or hybrid scheme working, online shopping and even beauty services which serve clients at home. With convenient resources, people
change their mindsets and do not want to waste energy and wait in queues without necessity. As a result
, they just prefer sitting at home, working in front of computers, eating or watching TV and after some period lack of physical activity leads to gaining
weight and problems with their health. I tend to think that Verb problem
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people
should consciously think about their day-to-day lives and add as many outdoor activities as possible. As an example, it can choose a hybrid working schedule and go to the gym at least occasionally.
The other reason is the advertisements of food and catering of fast food. Every person who lives in an urban place comes across to
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a
tempting offers and leaflets of different takeaways cafes and processed food sets for lunch. They are cheap, the portions are big and contain high calories. Scientists proved many times, that consuming a lot of fried and unhealthy cousin causes obesity and serious diseases like diabetes, pancreatitis and others. Correct article usage
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As a consequence
, the nation from an early age starts to suffer from overweight problems and hospitals are full of patients. I believe if authorities will outreach healthy lifestyles society will change. They can organise garden or vegan fests, marathons and fun sports days they definitely attract society’s attention as much as advertisements of ready-made meals.
In conclusion, the overweighting and unhealthy nation is an issue on the agenda for the time being. From my perspective, both citizens and state officials should address this
problem by implementing the above-discussed methods.Submitted by aliyarova.n on
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task achievement
Ensure to elaborate more on each point, providing further details and specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to refine your thesis statement in the introduction to make it clearer and more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitions between paragraphs to make the essay flow more smoothly and improve readability.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and a conclusion that addresses the essay prompt.
task achievement
The essay covers both causes and solutions, fulfilling the task requirements.
task achievement
It's good that you mentioned concrete steps people and authorities can take to solve the problem.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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