SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT ALLOWING CHILDREN TO MAKE THEIR OWN DECISION ON EVERYDAY MATTERS IS LIKELY TO RESULT IN A SOCIETY OF INDIVIDUALS WHO ONLY THINK ABOUT THEIR OWN WISHES. OTHER PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT IT IS IMPORTANT FOR CHILDREN TO MAKE DECISION ABOUT MATTERS THAT AFFECT THEM. DISCUSS BOTH OPINIONS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION

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PEOPLE TEND TO THINK DIFFERENT ON A SINGLE ISSUE AS SOME BELIEVES THAT CONSIDERING CHILDREN TO MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICES WILL RAISE SELFISHNESS AMONG THEM WHILE OTHERS SUGGEST CHILDREN must HAVE SOME FREEDOM AS IT WILL BOOST THEIR CONFIDENCE. IN MY OPINION, PARENTS SHOULD ALLOW CHILDREN TO FORMULATE SOME STANCE, WHICH WILL ULTIMATELY BENEFIT YOUNGSTERS IN NEAR FUTURE. ON THE ONE HAND, JUVENILE OF TODAY WILL BE THE STALWART OF FUTURE, AND THAT’S WHY INTENSIVE CARE SHOULD BE RENDERED DURING CHILDHOOD. MOST OF THE DEVELOPMENTS ESPECIALLY CRITICAL THINKING AND COGNITIVE ABILITIES ARE MODIFIED THROUGH

THIS

Linking Words

PERIOD.

FOR EXAMPLE

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, A STUDY CONDUCTED IN AMERICA ILLUSTRATES THAT YOUNGS WHO WERE ALLOWED TO CHOOSE THEIR TOYS BECOME MORE SELF-ESTEEMED AND CONFIDENT WHEN THEY GROW UP THAN THEIR COUNTERPARTS, WHO DID NOT HAVE THAT LUXURY.

HENCE

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, PARENTS AS WELL TEACHERS BELONGING TO ELEMENTARY SCHOOL SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL REGARDING

THIS

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ISSUE, AND ENSURE THAT CHILD ARE GIVEN SOME LIBERTY TO FORMULATE DAY-TO-DAY DECISION.

ON THE OTHER HAND

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, WHEN CHILDREN DO NOT ENJOY THE FREEDOM TO INITIATE THINKING AND GUARDIANS DETACH THEM FROM EVERYDAY TASKS, THEY TURN INTO AN INDIVIDUAL, WHO IS SELFISH AND LESS SYMPATHETIC.

CONSEQUENTLY

Linking Words

, THEY CAN NOT FELL SORROW OF OTHERS, AND GRADUALLY ENGAGE INTO VARIOUS TYPES OF DELINQUENCY

SUCH

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AS ROBBERY, THEFT AND SO ON.

FOR INSTANCE

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, A STUDY IN CHINA REVEALS THAT CHILDREN WHO ARE LESS PASSIONATE AND UNSOCIAL POSSESS HIGHER POSSIBILITY TO PARTICIPATE IN ANTI-SOCIAL ACTIVITIES. RESULTANTLY to FORM A BETTER SOCIETY AS WELL AS COUNTRY, WE SHOULD ALLOW CHILDREN TO IMPLEMENT DECISIONS, WHICH AFFECTS THEIR OWN LIFE AND BOOST SELF-RESPECT. IN CONCLUSION, I BELIEVE THAT BOTH PARENTS AND TEACHERS SHOULD TEACH CHILDREN HOW TO DECIDE ON EVERYDAY MATTERS

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HOWEVER THERE

Accept comma addition

HOWEVER, THERE

SHOULD BE SOME BOUNDARY AS THEY ARE TENDER AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT IS RIGHT OR WRONG.

seamdu09Thu Jun 18 2020

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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