Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give the reasons and relative examples upon your own experiences.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place #experiences

Firstly

Accept comma addition

Firstly, this

this

earth facing so many issues from the different people and different countries. When coming to people facing so many issues in the society from their

childhood

Accept space

So while growing they are seeing so many things in their

life

and

accoidingly

(sentence connectors) because of the reason given

accordingly

they are acting their day

today

Suggestion

to day

life

. The problem creator

Suggestion

has been

middle age people since when they

childhood

they are watching the so many unnecessary

issue

Suggestion

issues

. So the

importan

of great significance or value

important

importance

life

pace is their

childhood

. When Kids are growing with

family

Suggestion

the family

families

they can learn so

many

Suggestion

much

life

experience from their

grant

the cardinal number that is the product of 10 and 100

grand

parents, parents and their relatives. Grand Parents always teach good things to their

grand children

a child of your son or daughter

grandchildren

when growing up. Normally

grand parents

a parent of your father or mother

grandparents

faced so many issues from their past

life

and they try to teach them.

For example

, Grand Parents

teaches

Suggestion

teach

being one more than one

two

grand children

a child of your son or daughter

grandchildren

how to behave in

this

society to become a good person.

For Example

, if there is some

issue

in their area, they will teach how to rectify the

issue

. The same way

kids

Suggestion

kids'

parents

also

teach good things to their kids. Whenever if any

issue

coming between people, they will teach how to solve

this issues

Suggestion

this issue

these issues

Now a days

Suggestion

Nowadays

kids are getting so many unnecessary things from the internet

Accept space

so parents will teach them how to avoid and grow with good

information

Suggestion

informational

informative

thorough

having finished or arrived at completion

through

internet.

Also kids

Accept comma addition

Also, kids

growing in the school from their

childhood

, but they will teach only educational information in their

school

Suggestion

schools

. So their mind set will learn only academic skill

insted

in place of, or as an alternative to

instead

life skill

Suggestion

life skills

a life skill

life

Suggestion

Life

skill

always learn

Suggestion

always learns

through

family

Suggestion

the family

. Kids will learn everything from their family circumstance.

FInally as

Accept comma addition

Finally, as

Finally as

per my experience, kids become a

good

Suggestion

better

society member through family only. In their school, they will learn only subject knowledge from their teachers and friends.

Submitted by chigurupati on Thu Jun 18 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give the reasons and relative examples upon your own experiences.

Fully explain your ideas

Some educators believe that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree? 1- job, relax 2- time consuming, difficult

environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is th cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem.

Some think they can use as much fresh water as they want, but others say governments should limit water use because it’s not endless. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many products that we buy are made in other countries. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon.

The widespread use of the Internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the web ? What solution can you suggest ?