IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time
With the rapid growth of technologies, there is a new tendency to spend the leisure time of youngsters. Despite some obvious disadvantages of
this
 trend, I believe that these are outweighed by the advantages. On the one hand, it is understandable that
technology
 can be harmful sources for children due to the fact that it is excessively unrealistic and affect their health.
Firstly
, when children approach to
technology
 while their comprehension is incomplete, they can misunderstand by misleading information. A significant illustration of adverse effects of
video
 games is the accident of two children in China. They admitted that they jump from the window because they think they can be reborn and come back to life, just like in the
video
 game.
Secondly
, their health would be affected owing to the insufficient physical activities and be prone to be shortsighted. Nowadays, most children in primary school are shortsighted, and one of its causes is addicted to television and games.
On the other hand
, I believe that the benefits are more significant than
such
 disadvantages. One reason is that if individuals are exposed to
technology
 at an early age, they are inclined to be faster learns than their fellows.
For instance
, TV and other kinds of media boost language skills and raise the vocabulary of children; meanwhile,
video
 games help children in increasing their reaction. Another benefit is that youngsters can learn about social life and knowledge by watching television and searching on the internet. Their curiosity would be satisfied with the major knowledge from television and computer.
Technology
 is believed to be a helpful assistant of parents in educating children. In conclusion, it seems to me that the advantages of
this
 tendency are more significant than the disadvantages. Children can benefit from
technology
such
 as TV and
video
 games as long as they are under parental guidance,
Submitted by Linh Pham on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • Cyberbullying
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Inappropriate content
  • Self-learning
  • Screen time
  • Social inequality
  • Enhanced communication
  • Creative expression
  • Educational resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: