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Band 5.5

A successful person is one who has earned a lot of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#person #money
To a large extent, having
money
 can be one part of
success
. Having good relationships is another important part of
success
 to be fulfilled which is much more valuable because
money
 does not buy happiness.
This
 essay will discuss extensively about
this
.
To begin
 with,
money
 only do not equal
success
, everybody needs wealth, but the amount of fund necessary depends on each person's goals.
For example
, one individual may want a lot of material things,
such
 as exotic cars and big houses. For
this
 person, a lot of
money
 is important. People even amass wealth in dubious way and public officer
psye
express in words
say
pursue
purse
money
 to their accounts. Everybody needs to have good relationships, even a multi-millionaire is not successful if he or she does not have close connections with other people. If a woman always fights with her husband, if a man's child refuses to speak to him, when adult children might never see their parents, they cannot be considered successful people because it's obvious they are not happy.
Moreover
, it is important to develop skills and talents. It is important to spend time doing things that are enjoyable and not monotonous. A person who is unhappy at work,
in addition
, cannot be considered successful no matter how big his salary is. In conclusion,
money
 and material things may be one part of
success
, but non-material things like relationships and self-fulfilment are more crucial.
Submitted by tmoradeyo7 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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