IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #health #future
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The average standard of people's health is and will become law because of junk food and cigarettes, which are consumed daily by their customers, but could be stopped by avoiding them and starting a good diet. Junk food which is delivered by the restaurants is critically dangerous to people's well-being, especially on their hearts and body fats.
For example
Linking Words
, A meal from MacDonald could have more than a 1000 calories, which could by critically harmful to the heart over a long period of time. A research made by some scientists shows that when a person eats more than 4 meals of junk food per week which could cause a heart attack which could be and most of the time is deadly!
Moreover
Linking Words
, Cigarette companies win millions and trillions of dollars annually from there fool customers, who consume poisons material which damages and corrupts their lungs and shortness their life in the world,
also
Linking Words
 the most common cons of the cigarettes are heavily breathing, low stamina, and again lungs damage.
However
Linking Words
, a person could live a long, healthy life with a good diet, and daily sports. Avoiding junk meals, cigarettes, drugs, and all these harmful meals or material would help in the mission and make it quite possible.
Finally
Linking Words
, the average standard of people's health could increase by the awareness of the economy or
also
Linking Words
 decrease by the unconscious fools of
this
Linking Words
 world. So being on the side that the average standard of people's health will become lower or higher is not a choice for me.
However
Linking Words
, the controlling factor is the awareness of the human society.
Submitted by Omar. K on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: