Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Sports is crucial in shaping our bodies. A wide range of individuals believe that partnership activities have amenities,
while
others assume that
games
that are played solely are better.
This
essay favours
group
sports activity.
Group
games
enhance interaction and leadership.
Nonetheless
, individual
games
increase independence and resilience. On the one hand, individual
games
such
as swimming and tennis depend on creativity and private abilities. Sporters should have merits to accomplish their target without leaning on others. It needs hard work.
Nevertheless
, they will obtain their glories.
Moreover
, players should have the flexibility to solve and pass any obstacles. In his book," Tennis", Professor Ronald Nadal said that tennis is a sport that depends on player strength, passion, and intelligence, so it is played solely.
On the other hand
,
group
games
are vital in enhancing responsibility and interaction. The player will lead a
team
and will respond to them.
This
will make them make harsh decisions during matches. These can generate self-esteem.
Additionally
, community skills will be ameliorated. Language among players is a merit that can gained by
team
games
.
According to
a study conducted by Manchester University, it highlighted than
team
games
will reflect on the player's jobs. They will be able to communicate.
This
will increase the productivity during work. In conclusion, there will be a debate on
this
argument,
however
, I agree that
team
games
are more beneficial than individual
games
. We should encourage our youths to play in
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
to make them interact more with people.
Submitted by mohannadsme on

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Improvement
To improve task achievement, provide more balanced coverage of both views. Ensure each perspective is supported with equal depth and reasoning.
Improvement
Enhance coherence by using transitional phrases like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', or 'In contrast' to guide the reader through arguments more smoothly.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main argument effectively.
Task Achievement
There are supporting details for both team and individual sports, showing an understanding of the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraphing is clear, which helps the logical flow of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • team spirit
  • sense of belonging
  • community
  • leadership
  • trust
  • collective responsibility
  • dependency
  • self-reliance
  • self-discipline
  • goal setting
  • tailored development
  • flexibility
  • social support
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