Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #part #sports #teams #football #tennis

Sports is crucial in shaping our bodies. A wide range of individuals believe that partnership activities have amenities,

while

others assume that

games

that are played solely are better.

This

essay favours

group

sports activity.

Group

games

enhance interaction and leadership.

Nonetheless

, individual

games

increase independence and resilience. On the one hand, individual

games

such

as swimming and tennis depend on creativity and private abilities. Sporters should have merits to accomplish their target without leaning on others. It needs hard work.

Nevertheless

, they will obtain their glories.

Moreover

, players should have the flexibility to solve and pass any obstacles. In his book," Tennis", Professor Ronald Nadal said that tennis is a sport that depends on player strength, passion, and intelligence, so it is played solely.

On the other hand

group

games

are vital in enhancing responsibility and interaction. The player will lead a

team

and will respond to them.

This

will make them make harsh decisions during matches. These can generate self-esteem.

Additionally

, community skills will be ameliorated. Language among players is a merit that can gained by

team

games

According to

a study conducted by Manchester University, it highlighted than

team

games

will reflect on the player's jobs. They will be able to communicate.

This

will increase the productivity during work. In conclusion, there will be a debate on

this

argument,

however

, I agree that

team

games

are more beneficial than individual

games

. We should encourage our youths to play in

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

to make them interact more with people.

Submitted by mohannadsme on Wed Oct 30 2024

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Improvement

To improve task achievement, provide more balanced coverage of both views. Ensure each perspective is supported with equal depth and reasoning.

Improvement

Enhance coherence by using transitional phrases like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', or 'In contrast' to guide the reader through arguments more smoothly.

Task Achievement

The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main argument effectively.

Task Achievement

There are supporting details for both team and individual sports, showing an understanding of the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion

The paragraphing is clear, which helps the logical flow of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cooperation
team spirit
sense of belonging
community
leadership
trust
collective responsibility
dependency
self-reliance
self-discipline
goal setting
tailored development
flexibility
social support

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Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opin

In many countries the proportion of older people is increasing. Could this have more positive or negative effects on society?

Some people think that private health care is better for the people. Others say that health care should be free of charge and run by the government. How far do you agree or disagree with the statement.