In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #hobby #trend

Shopping is one of those essential needs normally in daily life. These days, for the most part people are keen on shopping as a hobby, but before people went shopping when they actually need. From my point of view, some

people including

Accept comma addition

people, including

myself think that

this

activity is a drawback trend in life nowadays.

To begin

with, shopping is a decision of many people after working hard is too tired and stress, which help us decrease these stressing things of a job during a long

time

For example

, we can go shopping with friends, family and even alone in where as centre shopping, a mall or a market. We even only buy or not choose to purchase after trying on these clothes

attract

Suggestion

attracts

our eyesight

Accept space

we spend

time

on shopping. It cuts the thinking

time of our mind

Suggestion

mind of our time

sometimes

Suggestion

Sometimes

my family

also go

Suggestion

also goes

is also going

to a shopping mall to have

enjoyable

Suggestion

an enjoyable time

time

Suggestion

for

with

each other.

Suggestion

you want to reduce work pressure, you can do really by a shopping activity.

Secondly

, shopping help us have many

time

Suggestion

times

to communicate with other people surrounding outdoor

instead

of surfing your

cellphone

Suggestion

cell phone

at home. Which makes your mind more comfortable and fresher. One the other hand, these shopping needs impact on society’s

developing

Suggestion

development

For instance

, a number of centre malls are built. It

help

Suggestion

helps

some unemployment have more opportunity jobs, which contribute a part to support those joblessness have living quality as

better

Suggestion

good

best

as. In conclusion, shopping has several positive impacts, and I completely agree with the idea that nowadays, shopping is concerned as a hobby.

Submitted by phương on Wed Jun 24 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Fully explain your ideas

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices

Your manager has asked you to arrange a party for a colleague leaving the company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter  suggest a suitable date and time for the party  recommend a venue  propose the food and entertainment options that should be available.

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.